Thursday, July 16, 2009

Parenting Class

If you ask me what I did last night, I would tell you that I went to a parenting class. If you ask Steve, he'd tell you he went to a parent meeting. I guess I'm the one who doesn't care if anyone knows that I'll take all the help I can get! Anyway, the class runs for 8 weeks and we have to drive an hour to get there. Thankfully I have a friend who usually picks me up and we ride together. Saves on gas and gives me an opportunity to have one of the few uninteruped adult conversations during the summer. . The class is two hours every Wednesday night. It's specifically geared towards parents who have children who are adopted and are a bit (or more) of a challenge to parent. It's led by two of the women from Children's Home Society and is called "Beyond Consequences". I've been trying to get away from the old way of parenting where I simply gives consequences. This model consentrates more on my relationship with my kids. It's amazing how well it works when I put it into action. Unfortunately, how affective it is depends a lot on how well I put what I know into practice. When I'm having a bad day I have to be really intentional about still parenting in a loving way. I'll definitely write more specifically about Beyond Consequences in the future. I've worked with many challenging kids through the years and have used tons of different techniques and this is one that I've found to be really great with kids with attachment issues. . Sometimes as a parent I get more upset about what others might think of my parenting and it prevents me from really concentrating on what is causing my kids' behaviors and how I can help them feel more safe and secure. According to this model, all behavior is either love based or fear based. I need to focus more on getting the responses I prefer through love and not scaring them into doing what I want. Parenting is always a learning curve :)

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