High School Gymnastics

Tonight was Brittney's first High School Gymnastics meet. She made the JV team as a 7th grader. Pictures/video tomorrow.

Quick results for:

4th Beam
3rd Floor
2nd Vault
1st Place JV All Around

Happy Thanksgiving a Day Late

Happy Thanksgiving!

Even though our Thanksgiving didn't turn out like we planned, we still had a good time. We were all packed and ready to drive to Rapid City to spend the long weekend with my older brother and some other relatives but icy roads and a bit of snow put a damper on our plans. That's South Dakota for you. We decided that maybe we'd try again in the summer, maybe for the 4th of July.
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Instead, we stayed home and watched football, had lots of snacks all day (the kids kept asking if it was the SuperBowl) and played on the Wii. It was actually really fun to have everyone at home and not have to go anywhere.
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Today, two of our little friends are over playing with the kids. One doesn't speak much English but the language of play seems to be universal! Their mom is working and their dad is currently overseas bringing back their new sister. Can't wait until we can have all 3 siblings over to play :)
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If chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and beans are vegetables,

does that make chocolate a vegetable?

Oh I think so!!!:)

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Beth Moore Conference

Great bunch of women from BWC!

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Walking back from the restaurant in Rapid City

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3600 women (and a few brave men)

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Waiting for the conference to start

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Steve, Riley, & Me

Steve had his doctor's appointment this afternoon. He wasn't particularly excited about it but I was. The nurses were teasing him that he didn't have to drag me in to sign off on the paperwork. He was having surgery - the "Big V". We might have more kids but we won't be HAVING any more kids, if you know what I mean! He's resting comfortably with pain meds, an ice pack and the TV tuned to sports.
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Riley is having some serious stealing issues again. The sad thing is, after he is 'caught', he is truly sorry. Real tears and everything. He takes things that don't belong to him but he can't seem to stop himself. He's done that in the past but it hadn't really been an issue lately. I check his pockets and backpack everytime he leaves the house and for the last 4 days, he's always had some contra band. I think I've found a counselor that I respect and trust so I think were going to take him there in addition to working with him at home. I think there's just a lot of chaos in his life right now and he's not sure how to handle it. I hope we can help him and not make it worse. On a positive note, one of the things that we gave him for his birthday was a lego set and he's downstairs right now building away. Maybe if we keep his mind busy with other things, he'll forget to take stuff tonight or tomorrow!
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I'm leaving in the morning for a Beth Moore Conference in Rapid City. I get to room with some of my favorite people - Jen, Jody, and Lynda - and we are expecting to gain lots of insight, have lots of fun, laugh a lot and experience a serious lack of sleep! Except for the not sleeping much part, I really need the other three. We return Saturday night. I'd better go pack 'cause we leave at 8am!  :)
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Anthony Says

At church one Sunday, the pastor announced that he would be leading a baptism class for anyone interested in being baptized. Zeke thought he wanted to participate and Anthony chimed in that he "wanted to be

bath-tized too!"

Wanted or Not, The Blog is Back

First of all, thank you for all of the supportive comments. I wasn't fishing for them but I must admit that they made me feel much better about blogging. I received comments, phone calls, emails and texts explaining to me why I need to continue. So, at the risk of sounding like a politician, thank you for your support!
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Secondly, I've decided to continue blogging for a number of reasons. It's an important connection between our lives and our boys' biological family. I can easily provide them with stories, pictures and events of our family and they can more easily feel a part of our lives, which we want to encourage.
It's also become an important connection between myself and my family and friends. I know my friends, parents and lots of my aunts and uncles read just to see what's going on in our busy lives and are some of our strongest prayer warriers.
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Third, I've learned that there are people out there who do actually gain insight from reading the blogs. I love the fact that some of the tough things we go through as a family can help someone else in their life, even if it's just letting them know that they're not alone or giving them a good laugh.
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Fourth, I went back and re-read my past blogs and, although there are some unpleasant things, I can honestly say that I never posted anything with the intent to hurt anyone else. In fact, when I looked things over, I realized that the issue probably arose when I chose not to be honest enough on the blog about certain situations. I deliberately chose not to publish some information about others that was extremely negative, and because of that, I looked selfish when I would vent a little about how I was feeling about certain situations. And by not providing ALL the information, I caused someone with a good heart and a very protective nature to respond. So I shall be more careful about what I post in the future. Unfortunately, that means that some of what's on my heart will go unpublished, but on the flip side, it means feelings will be protected. And I can live with that.
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I'm Sorry

I've been told by someone that I respect that I'm being selfish and want the world to revolve around me and then posting it for all the world to read.
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Maybe it's true. So I'm taking some blogging time off for some self examination. I don't know if I'll continue to blog in the future or not. My goal was to share my world and my feelings, not to hurt anyone else. And if I'm hurting others by blogging, then I shouldn't be doing it.
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I've often wondered about a public blog versus a private blog versus a blog that is written using assumed names. Though I tried not to involve anyone else's lives when I blog, I've obviously failed. Because I'm in a world of other people, it turned out to be impossible, at least for me.
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I've got a lot of thinking to do. Thanks for taking the time to read about my life and I'm really sorry if anything I said caused any hurt feelings.

11 Turkeys

I helped a couple friends cook 11 turkeys, 30 lbs of potatoes and lots of jello salad today for the college kids at church tomorrow. Steve worked at the Swiftel Center for a Disney program. Now Steve's working to fix the shed door that blew off the other day and I'm headed to the kitchen to make supper. But it's definitely not going to be turkey or potatoes.

Riley and his friends picking yummy stuff off the cake at his party.

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 This is the cake after they picked stuff off. It was a race car.

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Zeke is so proud that he can walk into his room by himself. It's the first time he's been in here since the surgery.

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Getting into bed

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Riley's Party

Riley's birthday party was a success! Pictures tomorrow. Every year I get a bit more spontaneous with the kids' birthdays, mainly out of necessity. This year for Riley, we let him invite his friends over after school and then we took them home around 7:30pm. Throw in some backyard football, trampoline time, pizza, cake and presents and they all had a blast. Who needs to plan an elaborate party when they have more fun just playing! Special thanks to my friend Jen for making the race car cake. The kids loved eating the licorice and oreos off the top.
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I moved Zeke's bed back into his bedroom with Anthony this morning. Zeke can now use his walker to slowly cruise from the dining room down the hall to his bedroom. He was very proud that he could do it himself, even though I had a hold of his PT belt the whole time just in case. I now have 4 rooms back in order - the little boys' bedroom, the upstairs bathroom, the kitchen and the dining room.
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Save the Date

Last night Riley made me cry. And it was in a good way. They had some kind of literacy thing at school. No one seemed to know much about it. I wasn't going to go because Steve doesn't get home until after 6:30pm but the kids insisted they needed to be there so as the last minute, I took them. The first part just involved looking at pictures the kids had done, then continuing on to cookies and tea. After that, we went to each kids' classroom. The night finally ended in the gym where the kids sang. Riley and a girl in his class had a duet. I love listening to his beautiful voice. He's always been able to sing right on pitch. He was singing about friendship and kindness. That's when he made me cry. He looked so grown-up in his sweater singing in front of his classmates and all the parents. He's come so far. How could I not be overwhelmed with emotion?
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He will be singing the same duet at the school concert on Thursday Dec 9th @ 7pm at Camelot Intermediary School. So for any of you in close proximity, save the date and come watch Riley sing. Someone should be crying besides just me :)

It's Thursday (because that's the best title I can come up with until I have a cup of coffee)

This is Riley and his present from Grandma Lori. I didn't blog much about Riley's birthday because with everything else going on, we opted to have his party this Friday instead of last Friday. Otherwise we would have just quickly thrown something together but this way he can have some friends over after school and we can have an actual party. It's Friday evening if anyone wants to join in. His friends will be here from 3:30 - 7:30pm. I'll let them make their own homemade pizzas and have some fun.

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This picture was taken before the casts came off but this shows his bed in the dining room. Zeke is still doing really well. He's able to bend his knees now. Not quite enough to sit in a regular chair but enough that we can lower the legs of his wheelchair. Which is good because it was tough to manuver him around with his legs sticking straight out. He has also been taking some steps with his walker. He can go about 15 steps or so by himself. I always keep a PT belt on him when he's standing though because his legs can give out without a lot of warning. I hold on to the belt and can "catch" him if he starts to go down. The more strength he gains back, the less it becomes a factor. His incisions are all healing nicely. The bigger ones on his knees are the only ones that still have a bit of healing to go but even they are healing well.

I'm hoping to move his bed back into his room by next week.

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The basement room is also progressing well. The guys got all the studs in place and half of the insulation up. The wiring in the ceiling and the wall is complete. The next step is boxing in the heating duct and then we can hang the drywall. The guys are even going to drywall the ceiling for us. Then mudding, taping and painting. Steve's mom will have that spot once it's completed so she has her own space. She is still looking for a job in Brookings and has been staying with us to take classes and continue the job search. Her help with family meals has been wonderful, especially since Steve is still on his goofy work schedule and doesn't get home until after 6pm.
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God has been prompting people I love and respect to give me encouragement. He must know that I need it right now.  I received an email from a wonderful family member (if you read this, you know who you are :) that totally made my day. Then later I received an encouraging card in the mail from a friend, which made my day again. We get to have lunch and chat on Friday! Can't wait!
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So to those special friends and all of you reading this, thanks for your thoughts and prayers. And for taking the time out of your day to care about me and my family. If I don't express it enough, you are appreciated!
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PS.to my mom.  You are awesome! Thanks for picking up cereal for us yesterday even though you were busy taking care of dad and recouperating from your trip.

Round and Round

Round and round we go and where we stop, nobody knows. Can I accept that? I guess I can when I remember that God knows. It seems like just when Riley is doing ok, he starts making really bad choices again. Last week, his teacher walked him to the van after school. I knew it couldn't be good. He had taken one of Taylor's notebooks to school and then he and another boy had written things in it that shouldn't come out of anyone's mouth. And he wrote those things about another kid in his class. In the begining, the kids, teacher and principal were involved but at the end of the day, they let me handle it. I cried when I walked him out of the school building that day. For anyone who knows me, I'm not a crier. I was trying not to cry but then I decided that it was ok for Riley to know how much it hurts me when he makes such bad choices.

Fortunately, I've long since passed the point where it makes any difference to me what other people think about my parenting skills. But I do still really care about Riley, and the choices he makes now make me look down the road and wonder if we'll still be struggling with the same things when he's older.
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I had him write a letter of apology to the other boy while I calmed myself down a bit. Then he and I talked. He knew he shouldn't have written what he did. He is so impulsive and when that is combined with a "people pleaser", it's a dangerous combination. I also had him verbally apologize to his teacher and the principal. We talked about how much it hurt the other boy's feelings and Riley felt really bad about the whole situation. He always feels bad afterwards, we just can't seem to get a handle on helping him make good choices to begin with.
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The other three incidents this week only involved our family. Riley took a phone and case to school, neither of which belonged to him. The second incident involved something he said to Anthony when they were alone. I'm still not sure if he was just saying it or if he really meant it. But it was pretty serious. Then this morning, I discovered a cigarette butt in his room. I knew he didn't actually smoke it. Using my gut instinct, I didn't ask, I just said,"Riley, you picked up this cigarette, brought it home and pretended to smoke it." He just hung his head. All I could do was shake my head.
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We knew we were in for the long haul, I just forget every now and then how heavy the haul is :)
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Please pray for our little boy to make good choices and wisdom for me to know how to best help him through life.
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Dreams & Coffee

I have dreams about my birth mom. They usually involve me trying to get her attention and her being busy with someone else. Or me seeing her for a minute and then she is gone and I keep trying to find her but am always a few steps behind. I always wake up with a sense of loss. I suppose in a way, the dreams are healthy because I express what I can't when I'm awake. I hate waking up from those dreams. At least in the dreams, we can spend a few minutes together. But I usually wake up crabby with everyone. I wonder if my boys dream about their birth family?
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By the way, I pretend when I write personal things that no one really reads this. So if, by chance, you happen to read this, don't tell me about. It just helps me sort out things when I write about them.
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On a good note, I stopped in Zeke's resource classroom this morning to drop off his walker. The teachers were waiting for the first bell to ring. They asked me some questions and I plopped down into a chair. I teased them about joining their coffee group and they asked if I wanted some coffee, too. They poured me a cup and let me chat with them until school started. Just what I needed today. Not only do they take excellent care of my son, they also take excellent care of me!  :)
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Mom finally made it back this morning and Dad was released from the hospital this afternoon. They have a home health nurse coming in every day because there is still concern about his lungs/breathing. They don't want him to catch pnuemonia.
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Two awesome guys, Allen Mueller and Dave Rusten are working in our basement as I type this. They're helping us finish the storage room into a room for Steve's mom so she doesn't have to bunk with Taylor and the baby in their tiny room anymore.
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Dad's still in the hospital, doing ok but in lots of pain. Mom finally made it home this morning. Taylor & I still not feeling good. Maybe laundry & cleaning will make me feel better. Probably not.
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Dad's in the Hospital

Just got back from the hospital. Dad fell off a moving combine this evening. Bad, but could've been much worse. He ended up with 3 broken ribs and a sprained wrist. He's staying there overnight and was in a lot of pain but by the time I left the pain meds were kicking in quite nicely. We knew the doctor on call, the hospital pharmacist on call and two of the nurses on his wing. He's in good hands for the rest of the night. Hopefully we can take him home tomorrow if someone stays with him.
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It's 4am

I woke up today for the second day in a row at 4am. I'm still not feeling very good but Taylor seemed to be doing much better last night.
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I'm so excited about Thanksgiving this year. We were going to help serve dinner at our church again but I got an offer I couldn't refuse. Some of my biological family invited me to Rapid City to have Thanksgiving with them. It's the first holiday I'll have spent with them. I just got the final ok from my husband last night and was texting back and forth with my brother. He makes me feel so wanted I could almost cry. I've finally given up trying to gain the love of others in the family who don't want much to do with me. The cool thing is, there are plenty of my biological family who are begging to spend time with me. And I'm ready to take them up on it and stop waiting on the ones who don't want me! It's awesome to be wanted!!!

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my brother? He and I were texting back and forth last night and he made me cry - in a good way :) I'm not going to tell you what we said because I'm much to private for that (says the blogger whose blog is read by complete strangers) but I will tell you that he makes me feel loved and wanted even if we didn't grow up together. I posted once that family isn't who you're born to, it's who has your back. My brother always has my back. And for that I'm thankful. He's helped me get through lots of painful experiences and reasured me many times.
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I'm also thankful that my boys have biological family that spend time with them, send them letters & cards, call them and just plain let them know that they are important. So to all the boys' bio family - THANK YOU!
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Happy 9th Birthday Riley!

Steve took cupcakes to school today for Riley's class but we're doing the actual celebration next Friday.

In order to invite a few of his friends, he chose to postpone the party until then.

He's planning on making pizzas and watching a movie.

Thus ends my era of three 8 year olds.
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7 Blessings

After feeling so awful yesterday, I need to recount a few blessings to remind myself how good life really is:

We have a dishwasher again! While we were in St Paul for Zeke's surgery, my dad discovered that our dishwasher was leaking. When he investigated, he found that the pump was cracked. It was going to cost almost as much to replace the pump as it would to get a new dishwasher. We spent a few weeks doing dishes entirely by hand and then we borrowed my sister's countertop dishwasher that connects to the faucet. It's the size of a microwave. It was better than nothing but I could only wash a couple of bowls, bottles and silverware in each load. While it was running, I didn't have use of the sink to wash any other dishes. Yesterday our new dishwasher was delivered! I think I can keep up again.
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We have running water again! Because Lowes was supposed to deliver the new dishwasher yesterday afternoon, our friend Al came and unhooked our old one for us. There wasn't a shut-off valve on the pipe near the dishwasher, so he had to shut off the water to the entire house. We didn't think it would be a big deal since he disconnected it around 1pm and the new dishwasher was scheduled to be delivered in the afternoon. By 5pm, we were getting concerned. Taylor and I needed a drink and the baby needed a bottle. I should have filled pitchers before we shut off the water but I was feeling so awful that I just crawled into bed when we got home from the doctor's office.  Anyway, the dishwasher came around 6pm and Al had it hooked up and the water back on by 8pm. We fed him supper in appreciation of all his hard work.
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Taylor's medication hardly cost me anything! I knew I might not have enough money with me when the pharmacy couldn't find Taylor's prescription and then the pharmacist told them it was on the bottom shelf because the bag was so big. But the doctor had given me a card to get up to $50 off of our co-pay on her breathing medication. When they rang up the final bill, it was only $17 total.
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The electrical work is done in the "new closet"! We are in the process of building a wall in our storage room. The room is the size of a bedroom but because it doesn't have a window, couldn't be considered a bedroom. Plus, the only access to it was through the storage room. We knocked a hole through the closet in Riley's room and built a wall in the storage room to make a very large closet/storage room. Steve's mom will have one half and our stuff will be in the other half. Our friend Allen (a different one that the one that did our dishwasher) came over last night and did all the electrical work for us. He hooked up a light in the ceiling and put two outlets on the new wall. He was amazing!
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I have a Clean kitchen and a better room plan! My friend Sandy came over with her husband last night and while he was looking to see what we needed downstairs, she cleaned up my kitchen and then helped me figure out a better room plan so that Steve and I could keep our bedroom upstairs. I had been feeling a little (ok, a lot) sad that we were giving up our bedroom. I was willing to do it and didn't want to complain about it because I wouldn't change our family for anything. It's just that my bedroom is my sanctuary from the chaos around me and to give that up was like giving up the last bit of myself that existed. It's the place I can retreat too when life gets a bit too overwhelming. But in a few weeks, Zeke's bed will be moving from the dining room back into his bedroom with Anthony. The baby needs to move from the pack-n-play bed to the regular crib and my mother-in-law needs her own space. Now it looks like we can loft Taylor's bed to make room for her and the baby's dressers and the crib. If that's possible, Steve & I can keep our room!
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I'm feeling much better today than yesterday! I could barely move yesterday. My entire body ached, my throat was sore, my nose was stuffed up, I kept coughing, I had a terrible headache and it took a lot of extra effort to breathe. All I wanted to do was to lay down and sleep. But the baby, sick kid and kid in a wheelchair had other plans :) This morning, my headache is gone and I don't feel so achy. Which is a good thing because I have to go to Sioux Falls today for the baby's helmet check.
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My mom made it safely to Atlanta! My mom is attending a children's conference in Atlanta and made it there with no major problems, at least none she's told us about. I love texting because she could just shoot us quick texts with updates so we knew where she was and how the trip was going. They flew in and rented a van. She's the designated driver of the van load of people. Not because everyone else is drinking but because she is the only one listed on the van's insurance. Drive safely mom!
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I feel like crap but took Taylor to the doctor because her breathing was so quick and shallow during the night last night. She kept complaining that she couldn't breathe. So off to the doctor we went. I hate waiting at the clinic when I don't feel good. And the baby wanted to move because that's what 10 month olds do. Anyway, after and hour, it's official. Taylor has bronchitis and an ear infection. Medications and nebulizer 4 times a day. No school for her until at least Monday. Now I'm going to lay down while the baby's playing.

Sick

Taylor's sick, the baby's sick and I'm sick. Add Zeke in a wheelchair and it doesn't add up to a very nice day :(   Hoping to get some rest but I really need to take Taylor into the doctor this morning and finish a bunch of month-end paperwork for the baby and Zeke's hospital stay.

Random Halloween Pictures

I'm hoping to post a picture of all our kids in their costumes but I need to see if I can get permission because the baby and her mom are in the picture also. We invited her to go trick or treating with us. I didn't think to take one of just the other kids.

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The Cat in the Hat, Thing 1 & Thing 2 and the Fish peeking out of the backseat.

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Anthony and my nephew Coby

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Our friends, Drew the Duck Hunter & Trey the Duck

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My dad and Debra handing out candy at Trunk or Treat.

Dad decorated the back of our van with his John Deeres.

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For those not familiar with Trunk or Treat, people park in the church parking lot and decorate the back of their vehicles. Then the kids can just walk around and get the candy and see all the different themes.

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Ever heard of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day. That was pretty much my day today. Just insert Tricia instead of Alexander. Thank goodness my friend came over, brought me lunch and made me laugh! I might possibly blog about it tomorrow if there's time between the orthodontist, baby's appointments and Zeke starting PT at the hospital. I'm never sure if I'm whining too much when I complain on the blog about crappy days. A day to think it over so I'm not complaining so much will probably be alright.

St Paul Hospital, continued

It's 6am. So far I only have two kids awake so I'll try to finish up the hospital post now.
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I checked into the orthodics area at Gillette Children's hospital. The told us they would find us in the main waiting room when they were ready. We waited 45 minutes before I went back to the desk and asked how much longer it would be before they could see us. The secretary informed me that they had looked for us and paged us and we should have stayed in the waiting room. As nicely as I could, I told her that we - all 5 of us- hadn't moved from our spots in the waiting room for almost an hour, even though it was right over the lunch hour. So then we had to wait some more, I think because they had pulled more patients into the office instead of us. He finally got us in an hour later. He put Zeke's new orthodics (foot/leg braces) on and then began the modifications on them. He drew right on the braces where he would have to cut away the plastic in order to make them fit correctly. He told us it would be another 45 minutes to finish them. I asked him what to do about our physical therapy appointment. He asked what time that appointment was. I let him know that it was at 1:30pm (It was already 2pm) He said to check with them.
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So I herded everyone down to the physical therapy department and chatted with their secretary. I let her know what was going on and she very nicely juggled schedules and re-scheduled us for a 3pm appointment. Then back to the big waiting room we went.
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We finally got Zeke's braces on and fitted correctly around 3:05pm and quickly went to physical therapy.
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Zeke had fallen asleep during the long wait for his braces and hadn't had anything more than snacks and yougurt so he was extremely crabby. That doesn't make for a good physical therapy appointment. We pretty much just let him sulk in his wheelchair while the therapist and I talked. She gave me lots of good information and answered my questions about what Zeke can and cannot do. He is now able to stand with assistance, as long as he is wearing his braces. We are starting to do exercises twice a day to bend his knees and help strengthen his leg muscles. We came home with a little walker. As soon as Zeke is able to stand on his own and take steps, he can use it. We'll be keeping the wheelchair around for quite a while for longer distances. It'll take a while to work back to where he was but he already seems so much taller when he stands just because he is able to stand up straight!
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While working with PT, we ran into several "old friends" from our hospital stay two years ago. I got to visit for a few minutes with Zeke's hospital school teacher and Dave the lunch guy. I love that they remember Zeke!
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We left PT and the hospital around 4:15pm on Thursday and had to cross the Cities during rush hour. It took us a couple of hours just to get out of town. The trip home was pretty uneventful, just long, and we made it back home by 9:30pm.
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Zeke is really excited to begin walking again.
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Gymnastics!

Way to Go Brittney!!!

Brittney had tryouts for the high school gymnastics team last night. There were lots of kids there and it was fun to see some of her teammates from her old team at Gold Metal Gymnastics. Even though Brit is only in 7th grade, she made the team, as did lots of her old teammates! We're so excited to begin our first journey into high school sports! Even though I know once it starts, it won't slow down for years. I'm ok with that :)
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She'll have practice every night after school until 6pm and quite a few meets. The season continues until February. I'll post the meet schedule when I have it.
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