Day Off

Yesterday Steve dropped off all three boys at the Boys & Girls Club by 8:30am. They love it there! Then he took Taylor and the little one to his mom's to help her move some more stuff from her storage shed. When he checked the van a little while later, the money he had in the front seat was gone. Taylor had taken it! When he confiscated the money, he took her to the Club too! For the boys, it's like a reward. For Tay, it's like a punishment.
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When Steve walked in the Club to check her in, he was informed that Anthony, in the first hour, had already slapped a kid and had been written up. When the staff was questioned further, it was discovered that the other kid involved was Zeke. I'm still not sure exactly what happened but it was obviously a fight between the two of them. Which doesn't make me feel good but it makes me feel better. At least he's not randomly hitting other people. At least that's what I thought until I got a call from the Club last night and found out Anthony had been involved in another hitting incident, not involving a sibling.
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This boy has anger issues. So far it's been all verbal and internalized but it's obviously starting to coming out recently. I've instituted a few changes to try to help Anthony through this. I've made a manditory '5 hugs a morning' for Anthony before he starts his day. And for anyone that know me, that's a stretch for me because I'm not a hugger. Don't get me wrong - I do hug my kids - but for now with Anthony, it's intentional, deliberately making time and not being too busy with other things.
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One of the other things I've implimented is that Anthony is with me anytime he's not in school. We've discussed that it's not a punishment. It's because he's having a hard time making good choices. When he's with me I can help him make good choices. Unfortunately, I needed a break yesterday so I let him go to the Club - where he proceeded to have trouble. I'm not really sorry I took the day off yesterday with no kids at home all morning, though. I cleaned and organized my office. It makes me feel better to have something organized and structured in my life.
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So what else are we doing to help Anthony? I've kept in close touch with the school so they know what's going on and I think I mentioned before that I was checking into a therapist. I received a recommendation from another counselor that I trust and made some phone calls last week. One of the therapists I spoke with has experience with adoption, attachment and trama. She worked for quite a few years with Children's Home in Sioux Falls. As we talked, I discovered she knew our family from the summer adoption camp that we attend. She was one of the staff in Anthony's room the first year and she was one of the presenters in the parent's group this previous summer.
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Anthony and I met with her on Friday and the session went well. He wanted me to stay with him the whole time, which was fine with me. The therapist had lots of question for me anyway. About half way through, she did inform me that she was a christian and asked if I had any issues or questions about that. I just smiled and gave her the thumbs up! I'll be taking Anthony to see her every Friday morning for a while. We're praying that it doesn't become a money issue. Between gas back and forth and any co-pay, we could be looking at quite a bit of money in the long run. The sessions are expensive but should be covered by insurance and medicaid. (When we adopted the boys, we signed papers that stated that because we didn't know what issues the boys might face in the future, both medical and emotional, they would remain covered under the states medical system) So they boys are covered under our insurance first and medicaid second. That being said, we'll provide whatever Anthony needs. I can't say that we went into parenting with our eyes closed. We realized that parenting takes a lot of work and a lot money, regardless of the situation. I think this is another reason God allowed me to be back at Headstart this year.
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And I'm still not regretting my day off yesterday!
Paying for it today with kids' attitudes, but still thankful I got some time to myself yesterday.
Was it worth it?
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