I don't think I could've packed one more thing into my day today. I was either in meetings or driving all day, except for the 2 hour lunch I enjoyed with two friends I don't get to see much even though we live in the same town. It was fun to chat and laugh together. Now I'm going to fold some laundry and relax for the evening before my first day at my new job with Headstart tomorrow. Should be fun!
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Monday, February 28, 2011
Date Night
Last night, Steve and I went out on a date. Nothing fancy but really relaxing. We grabbed a bite to eat at Hardees and then went to a movie using our two free movie tickets. We took Taylor and Sophia over to Grandma Sandy's apartment and Brittney watched the three boys at home so we didn't even have to pay a babysitter. I did splurge on pop and popcorn :)
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Sunday, February 27, 2011
My mom apparently did some online searching and found my paternal bio grandmother. She just died this past November. I never met her. Again, I'm not going to list a name but here are some of the most interesting things I learned through her obituary:
One of the hard parts about being adopted is that, where other people have family ties that come naturally, I don't know what any of my bio family might have told their friends and family about me or if they even know that I exist.
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- She was 74 when she died.
- She had 7 children.
- She did foster care and was willing to take on the most challenging children.
- She knew sign language and used it to teach the deaf about Christ.
- She took care of her elderly mother for several years.
- She taught Sunday School for several years.
- She held weekly bible studies at the Juvenile Detention Center for seven years.
- She loved to read, garden and crochet afghans to give to family & friends.
- She was a faithful Christian.
One of the hard parts about being adopted is that, where other people have family ties that come naturally, I don't know what any of my bio family might have told their friends and family about me or if they even know that I exist.
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Saturday, February 26, 2011
Suspense Ended
I really didn't mean to keep up the suspense from yesterday's blog entry for so long. My life gets a little busy sometimes and Steve was working at the Swiftel Center for the Blake Shelton concert last night.
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So here's the short version of the interesting development:
I discovered, quite by accident, that I have a brother living in Brookings. I'm not going to tell you his name just in case anyone would run into him and I'm not sure yet how this is going to play out.
Here's the long version:
Just for the record, I don't usually refer to all the parents and siblings in my life as (bio) & (adopted). I'm just adding that to clarify who's who. Sometimes I feel like my life is four different soap-operas and I'm not sure which channel I belong on.
I was put up for adoption at birth in 1974. I was in a foster home for 4 months and then my (adopted) parents, Larry & Connie picked me up in Rapid City and took me home. I always knew that I was adopted but I knew very little about my biological parents, and not all of it was accurate.
In the state of South Dakota, an adopted child & the biological parents can request information from Social Services when the child turns 18, if they both request it. If only one requests the information, the paperwork gets filed until the other one sends in a request. Ironically, I found out later from my older (bio) brother Jody that the state refused to release any information to him because he was "only a sibling". Sad.
I waited until I was 20 and then my mom, Connie, helped me fill out the paperwork to request information. Because my bio mom, Letoy, had already filled out paperwork, I received a reply in the mail from the State almost immediately. It was very brief and listed Letoy as my birth mother and also gave me her current address and a phone number. They sent her identical paperwork about me. There was no other information listed even though we had filled out pages of information.
I held on to the information for quite awhile since I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I also had no idea if her family had any knowledge of me. Eventually, my (bio) brother Jody found the paperwork at their house and tried calling me. When we finally connected by phone, it was incredible to talk to him. I think I talked about that in another post. Anyway, we agreed to meet in the Twin Cities.
I took my (adopted) mom & dad and (future husband) Steve along. My (bio) brother Jody came to the house we were staying and we talked. Then he took Steve & I to Mall of America and we hung out for a few hours. Let me tell you, after never having a brother, it was an awesome feeling to have my big brother buying me pizza! Even though I was really sick to my stomach, it is still one of my favorite memories.
Later in the day, he took me back to his house to meet his (and my) mom. It was very surreal. Maybe more about that later but I really don't remember much except I was really nervous and we had lots of the same books on our bookshelves.
The gist of that story is that I maintained contact with my maternal bio family, including my mom Letoy, my brother Jody and my brother Jeremy. Steve and I would travel up to the Cities as much as we could to see them. I didn't ask a lot of questions about my bio dad. I was curious but I alway figured it might be a sore spot to talk about. Plus, my (bio) mom's husband was very against my (bio) dad and always told me that he had just left my (bio) mom high-and-dry and told me it would make her feel bad. I figured I better not discuss it. So we just never really talked about it. My (bio) mom did pull out yearbook pictures one time so I could see what he looked like. It was kind of interesting. I learned that he liked boxing and basketball and was actually kind of cute - for a guy in the 70's :)
To make a long story even longer, I continued my relationship with my (bio) mom Letoy and at one point 15-17 years ago, took a trip with her back to Rapid City, the place of my birth and her hometown. While we were staying at her dad's house, my (bio) dad came by to see me. It was just my (bio) mom, my (bio) dad and me sitting around my (bio) grandpa's kitchen table. It was very emotional and enlightening. I discovered he really did care about me. He told me about his family and showed me pictures but his three kids were pretty little and didn't know anything about me. That was the last time I saw him.
Through the miracle of facebook and mutual aquaintances of mutual aquaintances, I saw a last name I recognized. I was pretty sure it must me some kind of cousin so I looked on their page and discovered another person with the same last name, but this time it was someone living in Brookings. I requested to be his friend (how ironic is that) and then I messaged him to find out if he was from Rapid City. He agreed to be my friend and asked if he knew me. I wanted to make sure he really was who I thought he was so I responded back that I lived in Brookings but was born in Rapid. Then I named his parents and asked if he was their son. He said he was and asked if I knew them. I told him that I had only met his dad once.
I thought long and hard about whether or not to tell this young man who I really was. I know how much turmoil is in my life and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else intentionally. I had no idea if his dad (my bio dad) had discussed any of this with him in the previous years or not. I finally decided that if his dad (my bio dad) had let him go off to college in the same town that I lived in and had not given him a heads-up that he might run into me, then he probably should have.
I messaged my (paternal bio) brother back and told him briefly, "I don't know how much, if anything, your dad has told you about me and I don't intend to rock your world if he hasn't said anything. I only met him in person once. I was born in 1974 before he and your mom were together. I was put up for adoption when I was born. is my biological dad so I guess that makes you my half-brother. I didn't realize we were both in Brookings now.
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For now, we remain Facebook friends and I'm content with that. I have not messaged him again nor has he messaged me. Poor kid probably has a lot to think about now that I turned his world upside-down. I will leave him alone unless he communicates with me that he wants to know more.
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So here's the short version of the interesting development:
I discovered, quite by accident, that I have a brother living in Brookings. I'm not going to tell you his name just in case anyone would run into him and I'm not sure yet how this is going to play out.
Here's the long version:
Just for the record, I don't usually refer to all the parents and siblings in my life as (bio) & (adopted). I'm just adding that to clarify who's who. Sometimes I feel like my life is four different soap-operas and I'm not sure which channel I belong on.
I was put up for adoption at birth in 1974. I was in a foster home for 4 months and then my (adopted) parents, Larry & Connie picked me up in Rapid City and took me home. I always knew that I was adopted but I knew very little about my biological parents, and not all of it was accurate.
In the state of South Dakota, an adopted child & the biological parents can request information from Social Services when the child turns 18, if they both request it. If only one requests the information, the paperwork gets filed until the other one sends in a request. Ironically, I found out later from my older (bio) brother Jody that the state refused to release any information to him because he was "only a sibling". Sad.
I waited until I was 20 and then my mom, Connie, helped me fill out the paperwork to request information. Because my bio mom, Letoy, had already filled out paperwork, I received a reply in the mail from the State almost immediately. It was very brief and listed Letoy as my birth mother and also gave me her current address and a phone number. They sent her identical paperwork about me. There was no other information listed even though we had filled out pages of information.
I held on to the information for quite awhile since I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I also had no idea if her family had any knowledge of me. Eventually, my (bio) brother Jody found the paperwork at their house and tried calling me. When we finally connected by phone, it was incredible to talk to him. I think I talked about that in another post. Anyway, we agreed to meet in the Twin Cities.
I took my (adopted) mom & dad and (future husband) Steve along. My (bio) brother Jody came to the house we were staying and we talked. Then he took Steve & I to Mall of America and we hung out for a few hours. Let me tell you, after never having a brother, it was an awesome feeling to have my big brother buying me pizza! Even though I was really sick to my stomach, it is still one of my favorite memories.
Later in the day, he took me back to his house to meet his (and my) mom. It was very surreal. Maybe more about that later but I really don't remember much except I was really nervous and we had lots of the same books on our bookshelves.
The gist of that story is that I maintained contact with my maternal bio family, including my mom Letoy, my brother Jody and my brother Jeremy. Steve and I would travel up to the Cities as much as we could to see them. I didn't ask a lot of questions about my bio dad. I was curious but I alway figured it might be a sore spot to talk about. Plus, my (bio) mom's husband was very against my (bio) dad and always told me that he had just left my (bio) mom high-and-dry and told me it would make her feel bad. I figured I better not discuss it. So we just never really talked about it. My (bio) mom did pull out yearbook pictures one time so I could see what he looked like. It was kind of interesting. I learned that he liked boxing and basketball and was actually kind of cute - for a guy in the 70's :)
To make a long story even longer, I continued my relationship with my (bio) mom Letoy and at one point 15-17 years ago, took a trip with her back to Rapid City, the place of my birth and her hometown. While we were staying at her dad's house, my (bio) dad came by to see me. It was just my (bio) mom, my (bio) dad and me sitting around my (bio) grandpa's kitchen table. It was very emotional and enlightening. I discovered he really did care about me. He told me about his family and showed me pictures but his three kids were pretty little and didn't know anything about me. That was the last time I saw him.
Through the miracle of facebook and mutual aquaintances of mutual aquaintances, I saw a last name I recognized. I was pretty sure it must me some kind of cousin so I looked on their page and discovered another person with the same last name, but this time it was someone living in Brookings. I requested to be his friend (how ironic is that) and then I messaged him to find out if he was from Rapid City. He agreed to be my friend and asked if he knew me. I wanted to make sure he really was who I thought he was so I responded back that I lived in Brookings but was born in Rapid. Then I named his parents and asked if he was their son. He said he was and asked if I knew them. I told him that I had only met his dad once.
I thought long and hard about whether or not to tell this young man who I really was. I know how much turmoil is in my life and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else intentionally. I had no idea if his dad (my bio dad) had discussed any of this with him in the previous years or not. I finally decided that if his dad (my bio dad) had let him go off to college in the same town that I lived in and had not given him a heads-up that he might run into me, then he probably should have.
I messaged my (paternal bio) brother back and told him briefly, "I don't know how much, if anything, your dad has told you about me and I don't intend to rock your world if he hasn't said anything. I only met him in person once. I was born in 1974 before he and your mom were together. I was put up for adoption when I was born. is my biological dad so I guess that makes you my half-brother. I didn't realize we were both in Brookings now.
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For now, we remain Facebook friends and I'm content with that. I have not messaged him again nor has he messaged me. Poor kid probably has a lot to think about now that I turned his world upside-down. I will leave him alone unless he communicates with me that he wants to know more.
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Friday, February 25, 2011
Very Interesting Development
Very interesting development last night. Because it doesn't have anything to do with the baby, I can actually let you in on it. Unfortunately, right now we're still getting everyone out the door for school. I'm just refereeing while some of the kids are putting on their snow stuff. There's not enough time or silence to write about anything of any importance. And trust me, this is of importance. I will be back in a few hours.
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Thursday, February 24, 2011
Spelling
Good grief. I just realized I spelled 'warrriors' wrong in a previous post and I had to correct it. Do I have nothing better to do?
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Another God Thing
I got the call this morning offering me the position with Headstart. God knew that I had a lot on my plate already until court was over. I will be starting on Tuesday March 1st.
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I Finally Figured It Out!
I figured out why I'm so fat. The shampoo I'm using that runs down my body says "for volume and extra body." I'm going to start using Dawn dish soap because it says "dissolves fat that is otherwise hard or difficult to remove."
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Thanks to Traci for sharing this
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Thanks to Traci for sharing this
Court
Thank you to all of our prayer warriors out there. I felt at peace yesterday. Also, a big thank you to all those who helped with the kids yesterday, especially Jen, Sandy, Heather and Cindy.
I can't say much about the hearing because it was in family court and everything is closed (confidential). But I can tell you that Steve & I were at the courthouse at 9am yesterday and the case did not end until 5pm, which made for a really long day. It went as well as could be expected. Cases like this are not fun and no one is ever really the winner. The baby will remain with us for quite a bit longer. Although it was very difficult, I believe the relationship I was hoping to maintain has remained intact, even though the person is devistated.
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I can't say much about the hearing because it was in family court and everything is closed (confidential). But I can tell you that Steve & I were at the courthouse at 9am yesterday and the case did not end until 5pm, which made for a really long day. It went as well as could be expected. Cases like this are not fun and no one is ever really the winner. The baby will remain with us for quite a bit longer. Although it was very difficult, I believe the relationship I was hoping to maintain has remained intact, even though the person is devistated.
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Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
From Matthew 26
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
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Mr. Chambers Says
"The great difficulty spiritually is to concentrate on God, and it is His blessings that make it difficult. Troubles nearly always make us look to God; His blessings are apt to make us look elsewhere." Oswald Chambers.
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Monday, February 21, 2011
Just Another Manic Monday
- Official snowfall total for Brookings this weekend as of this morning was 11" and it was still snowing.
- Church was cancelled Sunday morning due to blizzard conditions.
- The kids didn't have school today because it was President's Day.
- I don't feel much like blogging, or anything else for that matter, until court is over with on Wed.
- I used to use the blog as release for my thoughts and I haven't felt able to do that for quite a while. Nor can I write about the court hearing at all. (Confidentiality for juvenile hearings). So my thoughts will stay jumbled up inside my head for a bit longer.
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Saturday, February 19, 2011
More Snow
The weatherman says we are getting another winter storm - ice on the ground because we had a deceivingly nice few days and the snow started to melt, and now a possibility of 15 inches of snow. Guess we better get ready to dig out the mailbox again. At least we have a snowblower now, thanks to my gracious mother-in-law.
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Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Thursday
I'm hoping to finish posting the Omaha pictures today but we'll see. And yes, I know I still haven't told the money story. Trust me, it's a good story but it definitely doesn't make me look too good. I'll get to it eventually.
Today: Steve's out of town, I have a social worker home visit, a meeting with the State's attorney to go over testimony for a case I was subpoened for, and an Inter Agency Council Meeting this evening. Somewhere in there I also need to do Taylor's laundry since she's the only one I'm not caught up on since our weekend trip.
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Today: Steve's out of town, I have a social worker home visit, a meeting with the State's attorney to go over testimony for a case I was subpoened for, and an Inter Agency Council Meeting this evening. Somewhere in there I also need to do Taylor's laundry since she's the only one I'm not caught up on since our weekend trip.
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Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thanks Grandma Lori
Just in case you see this, thank you, Grandma Lori, for the special valentine's day box! It made everyone's day. The kids loved their stuffed animals and candy and Steve and I loved the fudge. I almost didn't tell Steve about it just so I could eat it all myself :) lol
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Zeke Says
This morning when I wouldn't let Zeke have his Valentine's candy for breakfast, he responded with a cocky shake of his head, "I bet God doesn't even know your name!"
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1st Grant Done
As of 6:15am this morning, my first grant proposal for Camp Adventure is done and ready to hand off!
Camp Adventure is the day camp for kids with disabilities that Zeke attends in the summer.
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Camp Adventure is the day camp for kids with disabilities that Zeke attends in the summer.
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Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Omaha Trip, part 4; Air & Space Museum
If you look closely, you can see Brittney "flying" this plane'
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Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day p.s.
Just so you don't think I totally "bah humbug" Valentine's day according to my earlier post, I did actually have a special supper with my hubby after the kids were in bed. I made some spectacular 4-cheese tortellini pasta with shrimp and red pepper alfredo sauce & Steve made us steaks to go with the pasta. Then we had cherry cheese cake for dessert. He was also a good husband and brought home a plant for me today because he knows I think flowers die too quickly. :)
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