Pictures

There's so much going on in my head right now that I can't even begin to blog about it. All I'll say is that I hardly ever cry (like maybe once every five years or so, seriously) but today I cried three times. And that isn't even counting the times I felt like it but didn't. It's a good thing God has everything in control. Maybe I'll blog about that stuff another day, maybe not. . In the midst of everything else today, we had two school meetings, a doctor's appointment and gymnastics. Life goes on. Because we rearranged our furnature downstairs, I was moving pictures and hanging some that had been stored. I love having pictures of different family members displayed in our house. I came across this one that had been in a tote for a couple of years. Riley and I were watching football as I was working on the pictures. As I pulled this one out, I thought a lot about whether or not I would hang it up.

It was taken when Brit was 6 and Tay was 2. I think it was our first and only professional family picture. I used to have it hanging in a very prominant place on the wall downstairs. After the boys moved in and we were waiting to finalize their adoption, I would look at that picture a lot. It always brought on a lot of different emotions.

*I realized that our family would never again look the same as in that picture. That was a wonderful feeling but also a bit sad. Our girls were just starting to be independent and now we were bringing in not just one, but three boys. What would our family look like now? Would we wish we were just the four of us again?

*I also thought about the boys and how they should be in our family picture now. To be honest, after going from 2 incomes down to one and going from 2 kids to 5, we just didn't have the money for a professional picture. We had a few snap shots but it just isn't quite the same. It was actually our realitor who provided us with our first "full" family picture. We were invited to a customer appreciation dinner put on by the reality company. Because it was free food and lots of fun stuff for the kids, we went. While there, the realitors had one of the photography stores in town come and take a picture of each family. I was so proud to have all of us together in that picture. Two years later, we were visiting family in Texas and had the opportunity to have a professional picture taken with all of Grandma Connie's family. We also had one of just our family of 7. It's the one that now hangs in the prominant place downstairs. I was so excited to finally have a professional photo of our whole family that I could display!

*

So since Christmas of 2007, we have had our new family picture proudly hanging in our house. But as I came across the older picture, I was trying to decide if I could hang it up again. Not in the "family picture" spot but with other pictures. I know some people would say that of course we could hang it up. After all, it's a picture I love of my family. But I also know that I have a son who has feelings, too. I wondered what he would think every day of having to visually confront the fact that he was not part of our original family. Other people would say to just put the old picture away. We don't need to see it all the time anyway since we have the new one. I was really confused as to what would be the best for all of us. Sometimes I'm selfish but one of my goals in life is to help my kids grow up to be as emotionally healthy as possible. And sometimes that means my desires take a backseat. I really wanted to ask Riley what he thought about the old picture but I knew he would probably just respond with what he thought I wanted to hear.

*

As I was hanging pictures, Riley and I talked and looked at lots of different pictures. I showed him a picture of my mom's family that had been taken about seven years ago. We visited about who was in the picture. My grandma and grandpa, my mom and dad, my sister and her husband, my uncle and aunt and their two kids, my other uncle and Steve, Brittney and I. We talked about those people for a while and then we discussed who wasn't in the picture; my niece Aubrey and nephew Coby, my cousin's husband Luke and their son Josh, and Riley, Taylor, Zeke and Anthony. We thought about how those people are part of our family now but they weren't went the picture was taken. We discussed how grandma and grandpa aren't alive anymore to be in our new family picture but we have lots of people in the new picture. We realized together that pictures are just a view of what life looks like right at a certain moment, a glimpse of life as it is but not as it remains.

*

So now if you come over to our house and go downstairs, you'll definitely see our beautiful family picture. But off to the side, where you might not see it right away, proudly hangs the picture of our family of the past.

Happy Birthday Dan (with the added bonus of Brit's locker)

I was definitely not a better blogger yesterday! The weather was incredible and we had two soccer games and church mowing. I love fall! Soon we're off to church and then lunch to celebrate my brother-in-law Dan's birthday. Happy birthday, Dan!!! . Last week Steve and I had Back-to-School night for Brittney at the Middle School. We attended 15 minutes of each of her classes. It was fun to meet her teachers, see what her classes are like and visit with other parents. Two weeks into the school year and Middle School is going well so far. She has Math, Science, Reading, Language, Social Studies, Computer, PE and Band. Later in the year she'll also have Music and Art. I asked her if I could take a picture of her locker and she ok'd it. Very organized. That's my kid!

Cliff Notes

Short version of our day: *Steve worked *Kids said funny stuff *I cleaned *Friends moving so we got their TV *Homemade pizza & breadsticks *Kids in backyard w/neighbor kids *Kids said more funny stuff . Tomorrow I'll be a better blogger!

Anthony Says

I was singing this to Anthony to the tune of 'O Christmas Tree'. . Oh Anthony, Oh Anthony Please unload the dishwasher Oh Anthony, Oh Anthony Please unload the dishwasher. . Anthony scrunched up his face and let me know, "It doesn't make me happy that you're singing your mean song. If Jesus comes alive, I'm going to tell Jesus on you!"

Zeke Says

Riley was reading his chapter book this morning and Zeke was looking over his shoulder. This upset Riley and he told Zeke to knock it off. . Riley: "You can't even read anyway." . Zeke: "Yes I can!" . Riley: "No you can't! How do you spell no?" . Zeke: "N - O" . Riley: "Wow! Did Mrs. Bulllington teach you that?" . Zeke: "No. My friends." . Riley: "Oh. Can you spell yes?" . Zeke: "Uh huh. C-S-O-R-M"

Our Friend Brynn

The following is an entry from our friend Brynn's CaringBridge site. We met her in St. Paul last year during Zeke's hospital stay just after she was transfered from the PICU in Minneapolis. She and Zeke became friends in a world where wheelchairs and disabilities were the norm. . If you'd like to know more about Brynn or see her smiling face in pictures, the web site is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit It will ask which site you want to visit. Just type in Brynnduncan. The first time you may have to enter your email address and chose a password. She and her family have an incredible story and testimony to share. * Tuesday, August 18, 2009 10:19 AM, CDT One year . . . 12 months . . . 365 days . . . 8,760 hours . . . 525,600 minutes. August 18th, 2008 at 10:24 a.m. - when a bright dreamy morning turned into a dark hellish nightmare. But God is faithful and we began even that first day, clinging to His promise that, “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5). Little did we know how long that night would last. Brynn was visiting her Grandma Linda and they had just left for a back-to-school shopping expedition. Linda was only driving about 35 mph when she lost consciousness, causing her foot to hit the accelerator. The car traveled about a bock and hit an extremely large tree at a speed the police estimated to be about 70 mph. Brynn was in the back seat behind her grandma, with her seatbelt on. Because she was not in a booster seat, only the lap belt held her. When she was thrown forward, her intestines were, according to the words of the doctors, “shredded.” When she was thrown back, her spine was severely damaged. Linda had several broken ribs and her legs were extremely bruised. There is a famous movie, “The Longest Day,” which covers the details of December 7, 1941 when Pearl Harbor was attacked. That was certainly an extremely long and tragic day for the United States, which initiated our involvement in World War II. As long as that day was for our country, our longest day as a family was the day of the accident, exactly one year ago today. But before we reflect on this year, you need to know that, above everything else, through every deep valley and every hard hitting storm, God was faithful! Yesterday, today and forever – He is faithful! As we each remember the first moment we heard the news, we know exactly where we were, what we were doing, and how we were feeling. When Dixie calls we always know we will hear a great story – maybe the hedgehog got out, the car broke down at an inopportune time, or one of the girls did something funny, but there is always laughter. Not so on that bright August morning last year. There was just a barely audible stilted cry, “Linda and Brynn were in a car accident. They are being taken to the Fergus Falls hospital. They are both unconscious. Oh, Jesus, save my little girl!” Before any family could pack their bags, Brynn was taken from Fergus Falls to Fargo by ambulance. As family loaded suitcases, Brynn was in emergency surgery in Fargo to stop the internal bleeding and sustain her life so she could be flown by jet to Minneapolis. As family got in their cars or boarded an airplane, Brynn arrived at Hennepin County Medical Center and was rushed into the ER, evaluated and sent to the PICU, unconscious and in grave condition. Through every step of this journey, from those very first moments, God carried Brynn in His arms. He gave us strength for each day. He seemed to write special scriptures just for us and wonderful songs for each step along the way. Brynn handled the flight to Minneapolis, and was finally stabilized. After 24 hours it was determined there was no brain damage – after she gently squeezed her mommy’s hand and puckered her lips when her daddy bent to kiss her. Next came the back surgery to stabilize her spine which was crushed in one place and nearly severed in another. The doctors were thrilled with the success of the surgery. It was a success, but it meant our little princess would be paralyzed for now from the waist down. But God provided grace for each moment. We simply clung to Lamentations 3:22-23 (The Message): “God’s loyal love couldn’t run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great is your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.” People still ask Dixie how she made it through those early days. Dixie herself doesn’t know, except God carried her. She never broke, never let herself begin a downward spiral of “what if’s” – and that was only God. There was another major surgery which turned out to be extremely serious. Brynn’s internal organs had been very badly damaged and it took two weeks to determine the extent of those injuries. In the surgery to repair much of her intestines, she lost her appendix, her gall bladder and one kidney. But God had His hand on every member of all three surgical teams involved in that very complicated procedure. Isaiah 49:11 says, “God will turn the mountains into roads and highways will be raised up.” While Brynn had many “mountains’ in her recovery, God promised to smooth them out and make them into roads for her. And although it would be several weeks before Brynn got through the dark and dangerous passage, we saw mountains smooth out into roads. One of the most heart wrenching days came right after the ventilator was removed, when Brynn quietly looked at her mom with dark, sad eyes, and whispered, “Am I disabled?” After Dixie began to talk to her, Brynn’s eyes filled with tears and she voiced, “I wish I were dead.” As they clung to each other and cried together, it was a devastating moment for both of them. But God was there. One of most amazing miracles God provided was this Caring Bridge site. You who read this every day, prayed for Brynn and signed the guest book, served as the hands and feet of Jesus to Dixie and Cody and the rest of the family. You will never know the strength that was felt sitting by Brynn’s bedside at 2 or 3 in the morning, reading your prayers and words of encouragement. As we watched the number of visitors to the site increase day by day, we were overwhelmed with the outpouring of love. People have visited this site nearly a quarter of a million times this year! We are so grateful and we hope you have been blessed as you walked this journey with us. God provided angels to come along side for months and months. We do not mean to leave anyone out, and we hesitate to start making lists, so forgive us if you are not named here. Please know that we have deeply appreciated everything done: The nurse who was following Linda’s vehicle that day and comforted Brynn before she lost consciousness and the EMTs arrived. The ER personnel at Merit Care in Fargo who saved Brynn’s life with emergency surgery that first day. The doctors, nurses and amazing staff at HCMC and in the PICU who answered every question with care and compassion. The ladies who provided meals for Cody and the girls for weeks. The women who cleaned their house while Dixie was away and the rest of the family was traveling to Minneapolis every weekend. The men who did repairs to help get the house ready to sell. The teachers from Robert Asp Elementary and all the students who participated in “Hats off for Brynn” where the students paid to wear a hat to school. Lots of piggy banks were emptied for Brynn by these sweet students. The amazing fundraising breakfast and silent auction which the teachers and counselor from Robert Asp Elementary put together. It was simply a miracle. People from Fargo Assembly of God church who helped with the fundraiser in the park. The students from Concordia and MSMU who held contests with monies going to Brynn’s fund. Every person and group who sold “bracelets for Brynn.” The Fargo-Moorhead friends who drove to Minneapolis to encourage Dixie and brighten Brynn’s days. Our family members in the Cities who stayed with Brynn during nights when Dixie desperately needed sleep, brought snacks to those who stayed in ICU, and opened their homes to other family members. The group from the Minneapolis Deaf Church who came to pray and encourage Cody. The Sandpoint, Idaho Church of the Nazarene and the North Dakota School for the Deaf who held great bake sales. The three local Applebee’s restaurants which held a fundraiser for Brynn. The then U.S. Secretary of Agriculture and former Governor of North Dakota, who made a special side trip to visit Brynn at the Gillette Children’s Hospital. Our family – each one contributing in ways that were special and meaningful. The Caring Bridge faithful from nearly every state and several foreign countries including China, Germany and Norway, who encouraged us every single day. When the realization of what Brynn was facing began to sink in, some of the family and friends started to worry about the future and how Brynn would be able to get around Dixie and Cody’s little 800 sq. ft. house. They knew Brynn would not be able to maneuver her wheelchair in the narrow hall and doorways, especially getting access to the bathroom. A fund had been set up at Wells Fargo to help with medical bills and, with a dream planted in Brynn’s Uncle Tim and Aunt Brenda’s heart, that fund was expanded to include the possibility of getting Dixie and Cody a home that would fit Brynn’s new needs. Dee Myers, a man with a big heart, caught the same vision and was instrumental in this dream becoming a reality. Their small house sold almost immediately, which was the fleece we needed to believe this was ordained by God. Tim lived and breathed the building of the new house, spending nearly every weekend for six months driving from Bismarck to Moorhead. Most of the people who volunteered time, materials and labor, did not know Dixie and Cody personally. They had either read about their story, saw them on the news, or heard their plight from someone else. It is nothing short of miraculous that today the Duncan’s are in a home that is specially designed so that Brynn can go everywhere easily. Their house is in a wonderful family community with so many neighborhood friends for all the girls, which made the move so much easier, as they community they left also was filled with wonderful neighbors. I wish all of you could have been in Brynn’s pink bedroom the first night in that house after she had rolled her wheelchair under the sink to brush her teeth before going to bed, rolled out in the kitchen to get a drink, and twirled back into the bedroom. As she finished saying her prayers with her mom, she whispered, “Mom, this is the best day of my life!” To all of you who sacrificed time, funds, and materials to help them in that house, thank you for giving Brynn the best day of her little life. And where would Brynn be without Tracy? Tracy is a very special young woman who was in a similar accident to Brynn’s several years ago. She is also paralyzed from the waist down. After seeing Dixie’s interview on a Minneapolis news program, she immediately called to offer her help. She became not just a model and mentor for Brynn and a tremendous source of encouragement to Dixie, but a hero to all of us. God put Tracy in Brynn’s life at just the right time, when doubts and fears were beginning to overwhelm her. When Brynn was scared about what she couldn’t do, Tracy helped her see what she could do – that she could do anything; she’d just be doing whatever it was, differently. God brought Brynn through the medical and physical traumas, a spiraling emotional depression, and a spiritual battle, but every single day, no matter how dark, provided a miracle of some kind. We just had to know where to look. The Lord taught all of us, just like our little princess, Brynn, to be a FROG (Fully Reliant on God). This past year didn’t just change for Brynn. It changed for her sisters, too. Morgan and Brooke had to grow up faster than they would have and it wasn’t always easy for them. They have been amazing kids. Jessica and Samantha took on extra adult responsibilities for their little sisters. Jessica has taken care of the three little girls this summer, which has been such a blessing, as Brynn requires medical cares every four hours. Grandma Linda recovered well from her injuries and today is back with Gary in Colorado, doing just fine. Brynn’s accident was the impetus for a bill put forward in the Minnesota House and Senate. The family visited the state capitol and Dixie testified before two legislative committees. Known as “Brynn’s Bill,” booster seats are now required for all children up to the age of nine. Had Brynn been in a booster seat, as doctors testified, her seatbelt would have fit correctly and she would not have been thrown, thus changing the outcome of what happened to her. We are thankful that many children’s lives will be saved due to this legislation. Today, one year later, Brynn doesn’t yet dance, but she rides horses, plays hockey, swims, plays softball, and rides her special bike, laughing with fearless tenacity. She also dries dishes, makes her bed, and does other chores (not laughing – like your typical eight year-old). She went to Bible camp this summer and is looking forward to seeing her friends and teachers at Robert Asp Elementary in just a couple of weeks. Dixie has rarely slept more than four hours in a row due to what is required 24 hours a day for our princess Brynn. But she will be the first to tell you that she has possessed a stamina that can only come from God. While still trying to just get through one day at time, Dixie learned the truth in the words, “If God brings to you it, He will bring you through it.” Is this a year our family wanted? Never. Did we think we could make it through this trial? Not always. Did we ever waiver along the journey? Yes. But did we give up on our faith? No. 365 days ago we couldn’t look any further ahead than the next check of Brynn’s vital signs. We had faith then, but it had never been tested in such a life and death way. We have come through that test and we know that is not the end for any of us. But we have all felt the hand of God sharpening us, honing us into what He wants us to be. And, while we are still a work in progress, we have all come a long way. We have cried to God, yelled at God, thanked God and worshipped God. Through it all, we’ve learned to trust Him more and more. He is faithful. We do know that Jesus never fails. We have seen the fingerprint of His grace every single day. He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength as our labors increase; To added afflictions He addeth His mercy, To multiplied trials He multiplies peace. His love has no limits; His grace has no measure, His power has no boundary known unto men; For out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth and giveth and giveth again. We are blessed by the gifts the Lord has given us. If you don’t have a personal relationship with Him, we pray that you will want to know about His love with no limits, and the grace without measure that He will provide to you as He has to us. God bless you all. Thank you for what you have meant to us.

Anthony Says

Today Anthony told Brittney, "I'm 4 now and I know ALMOST everything."

Birthday Presents

When we arrived home from Brit's birthday trip, the girls were excited to see packages from Grandma Letoy and Papa Kevin. The bags have their names on them and lots of sparkily stuff. Tay was so excited she snuck hers to school the next day!

MOA - Last Stop

We had to stop at Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream before we left MOA. It was delicious!

As we left Mall of America, Brit and I had to get a carmel apple to go. We were all a little sad that the weekend was drawing to a close but our feet sure did need a rest!

MOA - Rainforest Cafe

Me and Brittney Brit and Grandma Connie with the Giant Frog So we go to the Rainforest Cafe and instead of trying something new and fun, Brit gets pizza. Grandma Connie and I split some kind of chicken dish that tasted really spectacular! It isn't very visible but there's an alligator down in the fog. More of my 11 year old!

MOA - Rock Bottom Plunge

This roller coaster looked AWESOME but no one would ride it with me! I had to resign myself with pictures and hope someday someone will take pity on me and ride with me. Anyway, this weekend was all about Brittney, not me :) . The ride really does go straight up and then straight down before looping in a number of upside-down twists. Riley looked at the pictures and said he'd definitely ride it with me!

MOA - Log Ride

Here's Brit and Grandma Connie waiting in line for the log ride.

I wanted to scan this picture but I can't seem to get it to work today. Since I promised yesterday to post this, I held the picture up to the video camera on our laptop and took a picture of the picture. It's not very clear but you get the idea. In case you're wondering, Brit's mouth is open and a big scream is coming out!

Good Night

More to follow tomorrow but enough computer for me tonight :) * Just to keep you on the edge of your seat, tomorrow I'll try to post a picture of Grandma Connie, Brit and I going down the log ride.

Brit Walking the Plank

MOA - Walking the Plank

Brittney was determined to try this so I was determined to get a video and pictures. Just click on the arrow.

Display Only

This photo is in honor of a childhood friend who shall remain nameless. (You can pay me off later in small unmarked bills) When he was little he actually used a toilet in a home improvement store and we never let him forget it!

More IKEA

More IKEA

Brit's favorite room - green of course!

Relaxing in her New York loft.

We loved this one just because of the view!

Brit "cooking".

Another one of our favorites!

Two entire floors of IKEA are set up with a path that winds around the showroom floor and a majority of the items for sale are put together in gorgeous rooms. You write down the number of the items you want to buy and then on a lower lever you pick up your items and pay.

IKEA

On Sunday, we shopped at IKEA, a large home furnishing store unlike any I've ever seen. . This picture shows the kids' play area. Parents can check their kids in while they shop. Brit was actually disapointed that she was too tall to enter the kids' area at IKEA. The check-in spot for the kids looks like a giant picnic basket.

Brit's Trip

Brit snuggled into bed wearing her new school outfit. Breakfast in the hotel restaurant included a hot buffet and a chef that made whatever breakfast we wanted. Brit waiting patiently in the car with me after Grandma Connie realized that she had forgotten her jacket in the hotel room closet.

Brittney's Birthday

We shopped so long that it was 9:30pm by the time we checked into our hotel. We still hadn't eaten supper so we decided to drive to Juan Pablos but said if we found something closer that we liked, we'd stop. We drove out of our hotel parking lot, drove about a block, turned right again and a block later we saw a sign for Outback Steakhouse. I turned in and drove all the way through their parking lot to the front entrance. After we parked and were walking in the door, we looked up and realized we were right beside our hotel! Oh well. Life is a journey - I guess for us it's just a LONG journey! Since it was Brittney's birthday, the waitress brought her a dessert. She shared :)

MOA, part 4 - More Shopping

Brit & Grandma Connie The gal at the Oxygen Bar let Brit come in and try it just for fun. They had massage chairs and all different scents of oxygen. Brit tried the strawberry. Brit getting attacked by a shark! Can you tell which one is the real kid? The escalators were Brits favorite part of the mall.

MOA part 3 -shopping

We didn't buy a lot but we sure had fun looking! . This is the dress Brit loved. This is the giant M&M that she would love to put in her bedroom. Grandma Connie and Brit relaxing in the massage chairs. Trying on shoes! Doesn't she look cool!