Zeke

It looks like a distorted picture but that's really how his face looks!

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Clinic

Just returned from a 2 hour visit to the clinic with the 5 youngest children. Zeke & Anthony smashed heads together last night and Zeke got the worst of it. I thought the swelling would go down by this morning but it hadn't. I'll post a picture later. He should be fine but it looks pretty nasty. I have to take him back in on Friday when the swelling subsides a bit and they'll do an MRI if they feel they need to.
After the doctor check him out thoroughly and pronounce no major facial bones broken (although there's still a possibility of a hairline fracture), she informed me that we were to keep icing his face and that as long as he was careful, he could do anything he wanted to. At which point, Zeke smile and looked at Anthony and said,

"I can do ANYTHING I want to!" 

The doctor quickly clarified. "Anything your mom says."
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Don't Panic

Ok, before anyone else panics because of my previous post, our house still has all 8 of us.
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Mixed Emotions

I have very mixed emotions today. I can't get very specific but I will say that it's a good thing I've been so busy in meetings and working today so I haven't had much time to think. The times I do stop to process the morning, I feel like crying.
What is, in essence, for the best, is still very difficult. And I have lots of extra "emotional baggage" that makes me very sympathatic to different sides of this situation.
I know that's all very vague but because of confidentiality regulations, that's all I'm really allowed to say at this point.
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Rapid City - Sunday

Don't worry, I was only in Rapid until Monday morning so the vacation pictures are almost over :) Then I'm thinking about doing a virtual tour of our house for those of you who ask how we fit all 8 of us into our tiny house. Maybe I'll even fit a few writing posts in there somewhere too. Today I have a few minutes at home because the baby's daycare is closed.
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That being said, here are the last of the Rapid pictures:

No family outing would be complete without watermelon.

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Taylor with some cousins

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Taylor & Mekenna, an almost-cousin.

(She's the grandaughter of my biological aunt's boyfriend Mike)

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If you look closely, you can see Mike's pontoon in the back.

They also brought a boat for tubing.

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While the girls were playing in the water, the boys found mud.

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Which very quickly escalated into a mud fight.

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My brother pulled out his little camping propane heater

and let the kids roast hot dogs for lunch at the beach.

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Relatives taking a break from boating

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Taylor absolutely had to have her picture taken with Abraham Lincoln in downtown Rapid.

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And last but not least, my brother and his girlfriend!

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You have now officially survived all the pictures I'm going to post from Rapid City 2011!

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Rapid City - Saturday

First stop, haircuts for Taylor and Riley. My brother's girlfriend is a hairstylist and did an amazing job with the kids' hair! By the way, I really like her. And tt's good to see my brother really happy again.

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After a few stops for groceries and stuff, we headed to the lake.

Riley & Tay were enjoying the view.

Plus, they didn't want to help set up camp!

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My brother putting up the kids' tent.

He and I stayed in his camper.

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My niece, Shelby, hanging out in the shade.

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Check out the hair on Emma!

She's my uncle Toby's youngest.

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Everyone watching Uncle Vere work on his tent.

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Riley

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The boys went fishing right away.

My nephew Jake caught the first fish within a few minutes of casting his line.

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My brother Jody had to keep helping untangle lines.

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The bigger boys decided to take out the Bass Boat.

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They got it in the water without a problem and had fun paddling across the lake.

It was the return to camp that gave them problems.

They ended up ditching the boat and swimming back across. When they got back to shore, they did rock/paper/scissors to see who had to go get the boat.

My nephew Alex lost.

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Uncle Vere and his grandson Marcus playing ladderball.

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Uncle Mike & Uncle Vere

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Of course, no camping experience is complete without a bonfire!

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Three kids off to where they need to be by 7:30am. Now I need to give the baby a bath so she's ready for her visit and then I can start on the mountains of paperwork I've been putting off!
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Rapid City - Friday

Since all the adults had to work, I took a bunch of kids swimming on Friday morning. First we went to a local swimming hole. The sun was really hot and the water was really cold. The kids would jump off the big rock you see in the background.

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 After we had our fun there, we went to the swimming pool.

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That night, we went to the 2nd Annual Manuel Torres Memorial Race at Black Hills Speedway. Last year I took lots of pictures of the races but this year I only managed to take this picture. It's Taylor entertaining some little cousins (my cousins' kids) with her art project after they got bored with their little race cars.

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Rapid City - Thursday

Riley & Taylor were already in Rapid City for Kids Camp so my Aunt Ingrid picked them up from camp. Ok, she's not really my aunt. But I didn't realize that until I was 8 years old. I was so disapointed that we weren't related. Turned out I was calling her Aunty Ingrid all those years because she was my mom's roommate in college. But I digress.  Later in the afternoon, I picked up the two kids and we headed out of town for our one touristy thing.

We decided to go to The Cosmos.  It's a really intense mystery area where see and feel gravity working in weird ways, like water running uphill and other cool stuff. It's really just a huge optical illusion, but fun anyway. It really feels like you're defying gravity! We enjoyed it and the best part was, I only had to pay $9 for me and the kids were free because they were under 10 years of age.

In this picture, Riley isn't hanging on to anything or connected to anything.

He's just kind of hanging into the room!

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Another Very Brief Update

1)  IFSP meeting for the baby this morning
2)  Had to be two places at once for kids today
3)  Brittney's at Youth Camp in Rapid City
4)  Zeke is attending Camp Adventure Day Camp here in Brookings
5)  Very happy to be working with my friend Dawnna again, in spite of the heat

And last, but not least....
6)  My amazing hubby gave me roses tonight for no reason at all!  :)

I'll think I'll have time to post a bit in the morning before I head to Sioux Falls for a meeting.
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Back From RC

Brief update until I can post pictures/stories:

1) Had fun
2) Race was good but long
3) Camping was hot
3) Kids and I are really tired
4) Baby hasn't quit saying "mommy" since I got home
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RC

I'm off to Rapid City to hang out with my brother for the weekend!
Sure is quick to pack when you're only packing for one!
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Kids Camp

Parents gathering around the bus

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Zack & Riley getting settled in for the 6 hour bus ride

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Taylor, Naika, Kylie on the bus

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Taylor & Kylie at camp

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Taylor, probably taking a picture of herself

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Riley in chapel with his friends and his counselor

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Brittney Says - Again

Brittney came running up the stairs and asked if I knew who Candace Cameron from Full House was. My little sister used to love the show Full House. When I acknowledged that I did know who she was, Brittney happily told me that Candace was currently on one of Brittney's favorite shows, Make It or Break It, a story about high school gymnasts.

"One of the gymnasts?" I innocently asked.

"No. She's one of the moms."
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Brittney Says

When Brittney and I were having a discussion today, she flippantly assured me that I was old because I was born in the seventeen hundreds anyway.

I quickly retorted with, "The 70's Brittney!  I was born in the 70's!!!

To which she replied, "1700's........70's.......same difference."

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It's 7:30am and I already have 4 of the kids out of the house for the day. Riley and Taylor left for camp, Zeke is on his way to school, and Anthony wanted to go to the Club. Brittney is still sleeping and the baby has a visit at 10am, so for a few hours, I might be able to accomplish something :)
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Wish I Could Just Go Back to Bed!

I'm staying home from church this morning with Zeke. I guess Steve will get the hand-off at noon because I'm supposed to take Brittney to the Arts Festival. Her team is performing their cheer routine at 1pm near the children's stage. We've also got to get Riley and Taylor packed for camp since they leave early in the morning. Wish I could just go back to bed!
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I found a cute jewelry box for Taylor at a rummage sale this morning.

When you open it, the little ballerina inside twirls around to music.

She decided to personalize it with permanent marker.

In case you have trouble reading the fine print,she wrote:

My God, and Jesus #1

My mom is #2

I guess her priorities are straight but she didn't have to be so blatant about it!

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Read at Your Own Risk

This is what you get when I don't post for a while - a really longgggg post.
There's a lot bouncing around in my mind so I'm dumping a portion of it onto the computer.

I haven't been very good about blogging lately. The time at which I'm writing this post (5:30am) tells you a little about the quiet time I have on the computer. I'll only have until the first kid wakes up and then it's time to really start the day.

The last few weeks have been challenging. The summer is always interesting with the mix of kids we have at our house and the schedules and activities they have. Right now, in addition to what I consider regular summer chaos, Zeke has been having severe attitude issues for the past 2 weeks or so. I'm not sure if it's because we're not on a regular routine, or because of the visit with biological family, or just a phase he's going through, or something altogether different. I basically can't let him out of my sight. He's been getting into physical altercations and stealing things from other people - including, but not limited to, going through other kids' bags and lockers at Boys & Girls Club. At home it's even worse. He refuses to do almost everything he's supposed to and gets physically violent when he doesn't get his way. We haven't seen this kind of long-term behavior for years. At the risk of sounding selfish, it's really tiring to have to spend 24/7 on constant Zeke supervision so he doesn't hurt himself or someone else, especially with all the other kids. Fortunately, he loves the baby so even at his most violent moments, he'll turn and smile at her then turn back to me and start kicking and screaming. This is definitely not the normal Zeke.

It reminds me of the time about a year after the boys came to live with us. My niece was graduating from high school in Florida. We wanted to go but knew the little boys would have trouble with all the transitions, plus we were driving there and back. So my folks offered to stay at our house with Zeke (age 5 1/2) and Anthony (age 3) so they could remain on the same schedules and sleep in their own beds. Because my parents were still working, they had some people the boys knew come over during the afternoons.

Everything was going really well and we were a few days into our trip when I got a phone call from my mom. Our friend, Becky Hunter, was coming over the next afternoon, and being the good grandma and counselor that she is, my mom tried to let the boys know what to expect the following day. She asked them if it would be fun if Becky came over to play with them the next day. My loving, snuggling, grandma-adoring boys immediately started pushing, kicking, screaming, and fighting my mom.  I think Anthony even tried to bite her. She was really confused until we realized that their bio mom's name is Becky. After discussion with me via phone about the issue, she returned to the boys and asked if they would like to play with Mrs. Hunter tomorrow instead. They immediately calmed down and the next day went fine.

(Note: We've never said anything negative about the boys' birth mom or dad, nor do we mention them to Zeke and Anthony. Other than the emotional reactions we've witnessed repeatedly, we have doctors' documention that Anthony had a skull fracture around 9 months of age and Zeke had multiple physical marks on his face and body. Riley is a different story because it appears he wasn't physically abused so all his memories involve what he saw but not anything that was done to him. He asks me a lot of questions and I try to answer them to the best of my ability.)

All that being said, I'm having a personal delimma on how much/what contact should be had by our children with their birth parents. My first priority is to protect my children, not just physically but emotionally as well, to the best of my ability. We (our entire family) has developed relationships with various members of the boys' biological family. They're healthy relationships for the boys and give them birth family connections. Plus, we just really like spending time with them. Up to this point, we've been able to keep the connection limited to extended family. But the closer we get to the family, the harder it is to keep portions of the family separate. For example, Grandpa Al's funeral.

When we were at Grandma Lori's, Riley was wandering around looking at and into everything. Knowing him well, I was pretty sure what he was looking for. But I asked him anyway. "Riley, what's up?"
He then asked if there were any pictures of his old mom. I talked to Grandma Lori and said it was ok if he saw some so we went into the back office with only Riley and she pulled up a picture on the computer. He stared at it for a few seconds, then shook his head and matter-of-factly said, "Doesn't look familiar."
Then he pushed the button to scroll through other pictures.

Anyway, you can see my delimma. I'm perfectly aware that their mom wants to see them. I'm also perfectly aware that she hurt them, not just physically, but by not doing what she needed to do to get them back when it was still possible to do so. Little kids (and sometimes even adults) don't understand why a mom wouldn't do everything possible to get her children back. I'm not talking about issues beyond someone's control, I'm talking about making lifestyle changes to show that your kids are important to you and that you want to nurture and protect them.

I am really good at "reading" people. At the risk of sounding really weird, I can look into their eyes and see into their personalities. I'd really like to sit down face-to-face with the boys' birthmom and talk to her. At this point, I need to know if contact with her will help or hurt my kids. And we've come too far with the boys to go backwards.
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Sick :(

Yesterday I had two sick girls (Tay & the baby) and Steve's car didn't start when he needed to leave for work at 7:30. Apparently, one of the kids had left some lights on. Not much time for blogging between all the disgusting laundry and sitting with the girls. They figured the best place to be when they don't feel good is as close to mom as they can get. No one's thrown up since last night so I'm hoping everyone's feeling better today.
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Missing Phone

My phone seems to have disappeared. Going on 24 hours phone free and I must admit, I don't really miss it! I supposed I'll have to find it eventually, though :)


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Taylor Says

Last week when I was trying to decide what to wear to the funeral, I tried something on and then asked my husband what he thought. There was a pause and then he gave the typical smart husband answer, "You look fine."
To which I responded, "I'm gonna go ask Taylor 'cause I want an honest answer."
So I went outside and asked Taylor if she thought that my outfit would be ok for the funeral. She looked me over and excitedly exclaimed, "Yeah mom, that looks really good on you! I like it."
As I was happily walking back inside with a smile on my face, Taylor calmly finishes with, "but it does make your butt look big."
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Thanks so much for your honesty Taylor!
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Pool/Rapid City

We went to the pool all day. My dad made Anthony go swimming in the big L shaped pool. (P.S. he is a BABY GIRL.) My dad helped him swim and Anthony has a little girl mind of her own. He screamed for about the first 3 mins then my dad said i am going to dunk you if you dont stop crying and he didnt so he got dunked. And then he stopped screaming and imagine that... he could swim all on his own with out being the little girl he is and just sit on the edge of the pool. I also think every person in the entire pool look at him haha poor little Anthony. P.S i think we should change your name to something more girly. And also i only got burned on my shoulders for being at the pool for 1 p.m. ( just in case you thought a.m) to 5 p.m and i think i should get to go to my grandpas race in Rapid on the 16th but my sister gets to go because she didnt get to go last year so she guilted my mom into leting her go,  but i went last year. I remember my mom telling me i wouldnt like going to races because they were loud and crazy but i LOVE them anyways.Well i will keep begging her to let me go. I will blog the next time my mom tries to get me to blog and give me something in return.

Love. Brittney

Random Iowa Pictures

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