Overwhelmed

I've been looking at our schedule for the next three weeks and feeling very overwhelmed. In addition to the regular activities like work, church, piano, football, volleyball, bowling, cheer, gymnastics and services for the little one, we're also going to be:

• celebrating Zeke's 9th birthday
• attending court for the little one
• meeting for PPRT's (review of children in foster care at Social Services)
• having two days off of school for the kids
• working at the Swiftel Center (Steve)
• scheduling/attending doctor's appointments for Zeke prior to his surgery
• participating in the Special Olympics Regional Bowling Tournament in Mitchell (Zeke)
• and finally, heading to St Paul on the evening of the 17th for Zeke's surgery. I'm not sure how long we'll be there, but at least until that Friday.

The schedule wouldn't stress me out so much but we're seeing an escalation in behaviors with Anthony. It would be nice to go one week without a serious call from the school.
The call yesterday informed me that Anthony said he wanted to kill someone and he was making a list. The schools nowdays take that kind of thing very seriously. As they probably should. By the time I talked to Anthony, he said he didn't say he was going to kill anyone ELSE. "I said I was going to kill myself!!!" Oh, in that case, I guess it's fine.  Not!
The good news is that he's all talk and hasn't/wouldn't actually hurt himself or anyone else that way.
The bad news is that we have a very angry little boy. If we don't get this dealt with now, who knows how angry he'll be a few years down the road.
So yesterday afternoon, I made various phone calls and have hopefully found a therapist for Anthony that I think will be helpful in working out some of his issues. We'll have to travel to Sioux Falls - I'm encouraging a weekly session - so in the midst of our other schedules, it might get a bit complicated. But you do what you need to do.
I'll be making a few other changes for Anthony to see if we can't get his behavior at school a bit more regulated. I'll keep you posted :)
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Riley's Football Picture

Morning

We finally have some sort of morning routine down. I get up at 5:30am and make coffee. As long as I'm able to finish a cup before we leave at 7:40, the day goes pretty well. Steve gets the little one ready and I take care of the rest. Steve drops Brittney off around 7:30am and then I start my "bus route". I take the rest of the kids to the elementary school. Three stay there while Riley catches the bus there to the intermediary school. Then I drop the little one off at daycare and head to Headstart.
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Guess it's time to start being the morning referee - I hear Brittney and Taylor yelling at each other and it sounds like it's escalating quickly.
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Bathroom Construction

We tore apart our small downstairs bathroom a couple of months ago because the shower needed to be replaced (mildew ingrained into the plastic walls and floor) and the toilet wall pipes were dripping. We were hoping just to replace the shower, which I'm pretty sure was original to the house, but when we tore it out, we found mold/mildew on the wall behind it. We took out the old shower, the toilet, the sink, the flooring and the sheetrock. Steve and my dad replaced the water damaged wall studs but when we looked at new showers, we discovered that the plumbing in the floor wasn't designed for a "normal" shower. So we waited.
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We were slowed down a bit because the car Steve's been driving has to have some work done to it. Getting to work comes before bathroom convience. We only pay as we go in order to not have any bills hanging over our heads. Hopefully, now that I'm back at Headstart, we can continue to move forward on the bathroom.
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Steve discovered one of the guys at our church is a contractor and talked to him about paying him to help move the plumbing. Then we could put in the shower and also move the toilet and sink to make the tiny bathroom more usable. So yesterday the shower plumbing was all completed and now we're ready to install the new shower, which is currently sitting in the garage!
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We're hoping to be able to move the plumbing for the toilet next Saturday. It's been a bit challenging for a family of 8 to have just one working bathroom, although they did it in the old days so I guess we can too!
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Call #3

Call #3 - The Baby

The little one was on a home visit when the worker called me to let me know she was running a temp and couldn't go back to daycare. Thankfully, Steve's mom went to our house and watched her for the remainder of the afternoon so Steve and I could stay at work.
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Hooray for Grandma Sandy!
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Call #2

Call #2 - The Hospital

We finally have a date for Zeke's surgery in St Paul - Oct 19th.

On Monday evening the 17th of October, Zeke and I will drive to St Paul and spend the night. We check in to Gillette Children's Hospital the next morning at 7:30am for another Gait Analysis. That's were the physical therapists evaluate him and take lots of measurements of his movement. Then they put lots of tiny metal balls all over his legs and feet and watch him walk, taking pictures with 13 wall-mounted special cameras that take hundreds of pictures a second. When that's done, they'll hook him up to a machine that monitors how much oxygen he is using when he is resting and also when he's walking.

When that's complete, Zeke will have lots of X-rays taken again. 

Later that afternoon, we'll meet with the orthopedic team to go over all the results and discuss the surgery. After that, we're free for the evening. I think I'll get a hotel room that night. Zeke will be excited! We're so easy to please - hotel and pizza delivered!
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The next morning, Wednesday the 19th, we'll check in at the hospital at 9am for pre-op and then the surgery is scheduled to begin at 10am. They'll take out all the screws and plates from the previous surgery, do a bit of work on his right foot, and also biopsy the bump on his toe. In the previous surgery, they worked on the left foot but wanted to see his form after all the other corrections before doing anything further to the right foot.

This surgery will be relatively minor compared to the previous ones. I'm hoping we're back home by the weekend. Possibly even back in school by Monday - but we'll have to wait and see how it goes. Zeke will be in a wheelchair for a few weeks again because he'll be in a boot cast but we're guessing he'll be up and moving pretty quickly.

We think this will be his last surgery!  :)
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"The days are long, the years are short."

From The Happiness Project

by Gretchen Rubin

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Anthony Says

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This morning Anthony asked me, "How many more years until my birthday?"
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Call #1

Here's the specifics from the first phone call the other day:

Call #1: The Principal
Tuesday morning, Zeke went into the bathroom at school and laid his backpack on the floor. When he walked out and went to class, he forgot about his backpack. All the principal knew when he called me was that the backpack was in a urinal and had been peed on. I think the principal was concerned that I would be upset but he said they were giving Zeke a new backpack and planner so I figured Zeke would be fine.
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Later in the day, I started to process what might have happened and discovered we might have a few issues going on. Was Zeke were he was supposed to be and was he being deliberately targeted.
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I've been dropping all the kids off at school in the mornings this year. In kindergarten, I walked Zeke into the classroom and stayed with him until the bell rang. In first grade, I walked him in and an aid stayed with him. In second grade, I dropped him off at the resource room and then an aid walked him to his classroom when the bell rang. This is the first year we have progressed to letting Zeke walk to the playground by himself (from the van) and then line up with his class when the bell rings. We- the staff and myself- kept a close eye on him the first week but it was going well so we let him be a little more independent. I was now hoping that it wasn't going to backfire on us.
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After I got off work, I called the head of Zeke's resource room and visited with her about the situation. Have I mentioned lately that I love working with her as the head of Zeke's team at school! We're both on the same page as far as Zeke's education and behavior. Anyway, we both felt like it was an isolated incident and most likely not a deliberate attack on Zeke. All the kids at school seem to like Zeke, or at least put up with him :) We couldn't think of anyone who really dislikes him enough to do something like this.
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We also agreed that without knowing what really happened, we would keep a closer eye on Zeke in the mornings again. She knew that Zeke had lined up outside with his class and come inside the building. They think that Zeke went into the bathroom and wasn't use to having his backpack on in there so he took it off, possibly laying it in the urinal.
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After work, I picked the kids up at The Club. Riley and Taylor informed me that a boy at the club was bragging about putting a backpack in the urinal and peeing on it. When another boy said he was going to tell, the first boy threatened to hurt him. Riley has said in the past that the first boy bullies other kids.
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The good news is that the backpack incident wasn't directed specifically at Zeke. This boy would have done the same to any backpack he found in the bathroom. When I learned the name of the child involved, I shared it with Zeke's teacher and let the school handle it. At first, I was upset and a bit angry that there was bullying going on, but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered what was going on in that little boy's life that made him feel like acting out that way. I hope someone can intervene in that boy's life in such a way that the real issue is discovered and he doesn't feel the need to destroy other things anymore.
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Second Day

I knew it was going to be a challenging day when I received three phone calls at work this morning within half an hour of each other.
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Call #1: From the elementary principal, who started the conversation by informing me there was a situation and that he had me on speaker phone
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Call #2: From the hospital in St Paul, concerning Zeke
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Call #3: From one of our Social Services workers, letting me know our foster baby was sick and wouldn't be able to go back to daycare.
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Specifics in the morning. I'm tired and going to bed!
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First Day

Fisrt day of headstart was a success!  I love working with the kids and the teachers are amazing. However, I can already tell that it'll be a busy few weeks while I go to headstart 30 hours a week and continue to work at the produce stand two day a week until the end of the growing season. I'm still home after school every day but Wednesdays & Fridays. It gets a little hectic after school but so far everyone continues to get their homework done and get to their various after-school events. In the mornings, we're all out the door by 7:45am. So I'd better get going!
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Brittney messing around with her friend's phone.

Beautiful, isn't she?!

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Pictures of Zeke

 at the Special Olympics

State Softball Tournament

Zeke's team took 3rd place in their division!

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"If at first you don't succeed,

 then skydiving is not for you." 

~ Unknown

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Headstart

I just got the call yesterday that they've received the approval for my position at Headstart! Last year, I worked only with kids in the morning class (8:30am - 12:30). This year they want me to work with both the morning and afternoon classes (8:30am-3:30pm) so I'll actually be putting in more hours than I was anticipating. Timewise, it'll be harder to keep up with things at home but moneywise, it will be good.  And I love the kids and teachers I'll be working with!
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I'll still be able to drop my kids off at school in the morning and I'll be done by the time they get out of school. The best part is that I'll still have Friday's off so I can schedule most of our kids' appointments and meetings on Fridays.
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They wanted me to start on Monday but I held them off until Tuesday :)
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This & That

The kids are all at their respective spots for the day and I'm off to a meeting in Sioux Falls. I've got a few things on my list to accomplish besides the meeting so I'll have a bit of driving to do today but at least I'll be driving by myself :)
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From what I heard yesterday, Head Start is still pursuing the position for me this fall. So maybe I will be back there. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
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I hadn't realized how much I missed chatting with my friends over the summer. I was able to attend part of the women's Break Away bible study at church on Tuesday and might be able to attend for a while this fall.
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Taylor will be starting piano lessons in October. We'll see how it goes!
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Even though they haven't had official tryouts yet, Brittney was informed that she'll be on the High School Varsity Gymnastics team this fall because of her skill level.  It's getting tougher to make it to all the kids' competitions - even when we split up. We might need some grandparent help this fall!
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Love, love, love that Anthony's teacher and I are on the same page as far as his behavior is concerned! More on that later.
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Coffee for the road and I'm off for the day! If anyone needs me today, I'm out of town but semi-available to chat :)

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."

~ Helen Keller

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That's How You Know You're Family

Now that all the older kids are back in school, I have one very lonely little girl left at home. It's probably a good thing we're not home much or she'd be really bored with just me!
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During the holiday weekend we spend quite a bit of time with our toddler's half-siblings. I decided I need to stop refering to her as a baby because she'll be two before long. Anyway, because of confidentiality, I can't say a lot about the sibling situation but I can talk about some of my feelings in the midst of her situation.
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One day a few months ago at our house, Zeke wandered up to one of the boys and asked, "Who are you?"
The boy responded by saying that he was the toddler's brother. Zeke argued back that HE was the toddler's brother. They went back and forth for a while and finally worked it out.
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The interesting part was how I reacted internally during the exchange. Although I didn't intervene verbally, there were many things running through my head. It proceeded something like this:
"We are her family now. What claim does he (bio brother) have on her at this point? We're taking care of her and we're all she knows. We are her family."
"Wait a minute. I never had a big brother "claim" me when I was that age. I want her to know the security of being loved and accepted by her family."
I had tears in my eyes as I watched her big brother "claim" her as his sister, regardless of the questions from other kids about why they didn't live together. And I remembered when, at age 20, I got a call from my big brother "claiming" me. He wanted to know me and be a part of my life. He's stood by me ever since, even through some pretty tough times.
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I also discovered fairly recently that I needed to "claim" my younger biological brother. All those years ago, I was so concerned with how I would fit in that it never occurred to me that I needed to let my younger brother know that I loved him and wanted him to be a part of my life. I've been working on correcting that and now I have two amazing brothers in my family!
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Family isn't who you grew up with or who's got the same blood running through their body or who signed paperwork to be legally responsible for someone - your family will be the people who remain through the good and bad times. Your family will be the ones who take care of each other.Your family will be the people who "claim" you.
Disagreements may occur, but when the going gets tough, families stick together - not grow apart.
That's how you know you're family!   :)
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MOM!

I want to write but there are too many "MOM!, MOM! MOM! 's going on around me. Just for starters...Anthony wet his bed last night, Zeke and Riley are fighting over the milk and Brittney can't find anything she wants to wear that's red, white & blue. (I guess she's decided on something red, blue and peach)
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I really, really need to get to the grocery store today but I'll have to get it done before my noon meeting. Then after school, Zeke has bowling & softball, Riley has piano and Brit has something at the gym for cheerleading.
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Writing will have to wait......again :(
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"Reputation is what men and women think of us;

character is what God and angels know of us."  

~Thomas Paine

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Sports Schedules

Here are a few of the fall game schedules:

Riley's Football Games
Sept 10th @ 10am in Brookings
Sept 17th @ 10am in Madison
Sept 24th @10am in Huron
Oct 1st @ 10am in Madison
Oct 8th @ 10am in Brookings


Zeke's Softball
Sept 17th and 18th - Special Olympics State Softball tournament in Brookings. Times TBA


Zeke's Bowling
Oct 15th in Mitchell. Regional Tournament. Times TBA
Nov 11th, 12th, 13th in Aberdeen. State Tournament. Times TBA


Brittney's Gymnastics
Official practice for the high school team starts Oct 31st.
I don't have a schedule of meets yet.

Brittney's Competitive Cheer
Official practice starts Sept 11th
I don't have a schedule of meets for this one yet either.

Taylor's Volleyball
Tues & Thursdays in Sept/Oct. No official games - just intersquad practice/games

We talked about putting Anthony in soccer this fall but opted not to. He might play in the spring.
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If you're interested in attending any of these games, let me know and I'll give you more details :)
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Grandma Sandy returned from her trip to Pennsylvania bearing gifts.

Zeke got an adorable bee hat.

Unfortunately, I happened to take the picture when he was pouting.

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This is our Camp Adventure Director, Christy, holding the big check we received from Velero Energy. We attended the brunch/check presentation Thursday morning and were thrilled to receive a check for over half of our yearly operating budget.

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Zeke's softball team scrimmaged against some of our area firefighters

and after the game they rode in the firetrucks.

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Thanks Firefighter Dan!

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"We do not pray so that we can get God's attention. We pray so that God will get our attention. We pray so that, as our attentiveness to God increases, our souls may be shaped by the reality of God's constant, loving, self-revealing presence."   

~David Bender

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Will We Be Ready?

A sad day in Brookings as today was the funeral for a high school senior killed in a hit and run accident. Any death that's unexpected hits hard. And another not-so-gentle reminder that we never know when our time on earth will be over. When we stand before God, will we be ready? And will our loved ones be ready?
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Please remember the family and friends of John in your prayers. They need all the extra support they can get right now.
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Labor Day Weekend

We spent the holiday weekend at home.

The kids played outside.

Other kids just kept showing up.

Eventually they decided to use our skateboard ramps and build some of their own.

Brittney had to take charge of the show.

Here are some of them making adjustments

to the first small set of ramps.

Some of the kids just watched.

Riley was the only one brave enough to take on the big set of ramps

in the middle.

Don't worry all you grandmas out there - I made him wear his helmet!

Anthony even tried the smaller ramps. 

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All in all, a good weekend!

We averaged 12 kids per day at our house.

Needless to say, the house is a disaster but everyone had fun!

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Another Brief Update

I'm thinking I probably shouldn't be on the computer right now. Steve is still in bed and I hear lots of chaos going on in the rest of the house. But here's a few brief updates on things people have been inquiring about:
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Foster Baby: She's 20 months old and we still have her. She is not legally cleared for adoption at this point. If parental rights would ever be terminated, we would do everything in our power to adopt her. That's about all I can say for now. God knows where she needs to be and we believe that His plan is sovereign.
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Steve:  Steve's been involved with the board for Friends of Baseball since Riley was playing Little League this year. He'll have to tell you more about that himself since I try not to get involved other than attending the games. He also absolutely loves his new job at the bank. He's been there three months now and it's fun watching him go out the door in the morning in his dress shirt and tie. Who ever guessed I'd be married to a banker? 
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Zeke: I still haven't heard the schedule for his next surgery. It's supposed to be in September so I'll need to give them another call tomorrow. It should be pretty minor and we'll hopefully be gone only three days for that one. He's got the Special Olympics State Softball tournament coming up the weekend of the 17th&18th but I'm not sure exactly when he plays. He'll start his bowling team next week, too. He loves all the activities and hanging out with his friends but I love the added bonus of keeping him physically active because it strengthens his bones and muscles.
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Me: Lots of people have been asking if I'll be working this fall. That's still a complicated question right now. I'll continue working with Berndt Produce on Wed/Fri for the next six weeks until the season ends. As for headstart, I don't know yet. They want me to work and I want to work with them but because the position was a temporary one last year, they have to create the position and justify it all over again. And with all the cuts in funding everywhere, I'm not sure if they will be able to bring me in again or not. I spoke with the head teacher last Tues and she still hadn't heard either. In all honesty, I'm fine either way.

God will put me where he needs me most. If it's with the headstart special needs kids, I'll give them my attention. If it's not, then I'll spend more time in my own kids' classrooms and, as most of you know, I'll find other things to pour my energy into. I've already been putting more time into the newly created East River Foster Parent Network and have also been approached about putting more time into another position within the church. Also, Camp Adventure, one of the groups I've been involved in and written some grants for, is reciving a check on Thursday and the camp director, myself and two other board members have been invited to the brunch/check presentation. They won't tell us the amount granted until the presentation, but we're pretty sure it'll be a great boost for camp!
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I'll be more intentional about blogging again now that our family is getting back to a "regular" schedule.
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Wise Words

Remember when I said life would slow down once school started........well.......apparently it did not. But I did have time to read this great quote from a friend (not sure where it came from originally).

I'm thankful that I have a great christian husband :)
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"A woman would be much better off if she could distinguish the difference between a man that flatters her and a man that compliments her.
A man that spends money on her and a man who invests in her.
A man that views her as property and a man that views her properly.
A man that lusts after her and a man that loves her.
A man that believes he is God's gift to women and a man that REMEMBERS a woman was God's gift to man!"

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Thanks for the wise words Jean!