Change

The official corn count is in! I've shucked, cut, cooked and frozed 148 quarts of sweet corn this fall. It's a lot of work but it really saves on grocery money during the winter. So thanks to all those who gave us corn! * Yesterday was another busy day. Is there any other kind? Steve was offered over time at Daktronics so he went in to work by 8am. I took Riley and Taylor to their soccer games. At Tay's game, I visited with another mom who's daughter was a good friend of Riley. Because Riley and Taylor are in the same soccer division, she asked if they were twins. Before I could respond, Riley pipes up, "I'm adopted!" Turns out both of her kids are adopted, too. We ended up having a great conversation. Later, I mentioned to Riley that his friend was adopted too and he told me she had already told him. He said that's why they're such good friends! * In the afternoon, Steve took Riley to SDSU for kid's football camp. He loved it! Not only did they learn skills, they get to interact with the SDSU football players. I love it 'cause it's free! * When Steve returned, he washed both vehicles inside and out. He had lots of help but not from me! I was busy trying to finish the corn. * We talked Brittney into babysitting for the evening (her paypment, per her request, was for us to take her to an SDSU girls basketball game) so Steve and I could both take Riley to the football game. Riley had a free ticket from football camp, Steve loves any sport and I am a football fanatic. The weather provided a great fall evening for football and the stadium was full of excited fans. The official count was over 12,000. I tend to get really excited during games and thought that Riley would be proud to have a mom that's so into football. Once after I cheered really loudly, Steve whispered to Riley, "Mom gets really excited at football games." Riley whispered back, "That's why we shouldn't of brought her." Yep. My job as a parent isn't complete unless I embarass my kids at least once. * One interesting thing about last night had to do with a change in my attitude. When we first got the boys about 3 years ago, I wanted so badly for them to like me. For the most part, they did, but they showed it in different ways. Anthony was young enough - just under 2 - that he wasn't overly demonstrative with us right away. Steve and I both already understood that was a actually a healthy attachment but Brit had a hard time because she loved her new little brother and she just wanted him to love her back like her friends younger siblings. We did a lot of interacting with Anthony, including reading and rocking at bedtime and he quickly learned to love us. . Zeke hated women. I am a woman therefore Zeke didn't like me at all. I think it took a few weeks of visits and lots of prompting from people he knew before he would even let me hold his hand to help him walk. And that was with someone of his choosing holding his other hand. Lots of time and effort on my part was all that was needed to teach him to trust me. That makes it sound lots easier that it really was but it's true. Now he tells everyone about me and loves to give me hugs. With a lot of hard work, we've come a long way! . On to Riley. I still remember the first time I heard his little 4 year old voice. I had called his social worker and Riley and his foster dad happened to be in her office. She asked if I would like to talk to him. I was scared. What if he decided during the call that he didn't like me? I tried to relax and just visit but it was hard. I felt like everything was riding on this one phone call. He sounded like any normal kid and we talked for a few minutes and then the social worker came back on the line and we concluded our call. I almost cried after the call. I wanted so badly to just go pick the boys up and bring them home right away. The whole process is another story for another day. I have tons to say about the day we met the boys in person but this blog entry is already too long and I haven't even made the last point I was going to make yet. And I have to leave for church in the next half hour! Anyway, for now, let's just say that Riley didn't have a healthy attachment right away. He would appear to "attach" to anyone. (Hopefully more on this later) As he, and we, struggled to form healthy attachment bonds, I wanted to hold him and hug him tons. After the initial honeymoon period wore off, I only wanted him in my personal space when I wanted him there. I felt like I didn't have any space of my own left in my house or around my body. Riley needed constant assurance, which included being physically close. It was tough and I'll be the first to admit, sometimes I just didn't let it happen. Thankfully, lots of times I did let it happen even though I didn't want him hanging on me. It felt so different to me when he was clinging to me than when Taylor did. Long story even longer, it's changed. And when I say it, I mean my attitude and feelings. I'm not sure exactly when because it's been a work in progress for so long. Last night at the game, Riley was hanging on me as I was trying to watch the game. He was playing with my hair. A few years ago, I might have let him do it, but inside I would have been angry about it. Last night, I can honestly say that it felt good to have him next to me twirling his fingers through my hair enjoying a game together!