That's How You Know You're Family

Now that all the older kids are back in school, I have one very lonely little girl left at home. It's probably a good thing we're not home much or she'd be really bored with just me!
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During the holiday weekend we spend quite a bit of time with our toddler's half-siblings. I decided I need to stop refering to her as a baby because she'll be two before long. Anyway, because of confidentiality, I can't say a lot about the sibling situation but I can talk about some of my feelings in the midst of her situation.
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One day a few months ago at our house, Zeke wandered up to one of the boys and asked, "Who are you?"
The boy responded by saying that he was the toddler's brother. Zeke argued back that HE was the toddler's brother. They went back and forth for a while and finally worked it out.
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The interesting part was how I reacted internally during the exchange. Although I didn't intervene verbally, there were many things running through my head. It proceeded something like this:
"We are her family now. What claim does he (bio brother) have on her at this point? We're taking care of her and we're all she knows. We are her family."
"Wait a minute. I never had a big brother "claim" me when I was that age. I want her to know the security of being loved and accepted by her family."
I had tears in my eyes as I watched her big brother "claim" her as his sister, regardless of the questions from other kids about why they didn't live together. And I remembered when, at age 20, I got a call from my big brother "claiming" me. He wanted to know me and be a part of my life. He's stood by me ever since, even through some pretty tough times.
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I also discovered fairly recently that I needed to "claim" my younger biological brother. All those years ago, I was so concerned with how I would fit in that it never occurred to me that I needed to let my younger brother know that I loved him and wanted him to be a part of my life. I've been working on correcting that and now I have two amazing brothers in my family!
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Family isn't who you grew up with or who's got the same blood running through their body or who signed paperwork to be legally responsible for someone - your family will be the people who remain through the good and bad times. Your family will be the ones who take care of each other.Your family will be the people who "claim" you.
Disagreements may occur, but when the going gets tough, families stick together - not grow apart.
That's how you know you're family!   :)
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