Round and Round

Round and round we go and where we stop, nobody knows. Can I accept that? I guess I can when I remember that God knows. It seems like just when Riley is doing ok, he starts making really bad choices again. Last week, his teacher walked him to the van after school. I knew it couldn't be good. He had taken one of Taylor's notebooks to school and then he and another boy had written things in it that shouldn't come out of anyone's mouth. And he wrote those things about another kid in his class. In the begining, the kids, teacher and principal were involved but at the end of the day, they let me handle it. I cried when I walked him out of the school building that day. For anyone who knows me, I'm not a crier. I was trying not to cry but then I decided that it was ok for Riley to know how much it hurts me when he makes such bad choices.

Fortunately, I've long since passed the point where it makes any difference to me what other people think about my parenting skills. But I do still really care about Riley, and the choices he makes now make me look down the road and wonder if we'll still be struggling with the same things when he's older.
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I had him write a letter of apology to the other boy while I calmed myself down a bit. Then he and I talked. He knew he shouldn't have written what he did. He is so impulsive and when that is combined with a "people pleaser", it's a dangerous combination. I also had him verbally apologize to his teacher and the principal. We talked about how much it hurt the other boy's feelings and Riley felt really bad about the whole situation. He always feels bad afterwards, we just can't seem to get a handle on helping him make good choices to begin with.
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The other three incidents this week only involved our family. Riley took a phone and case to school, neither of which belonged to him. The second incident involved something he said to Anthony when they were alone. I'm still not sure if he was just saying it or if he really meant it. But it was pretty serious. Then this morning, I discovered a cigarette butt in his room. I knew he didn't actually smoke it. Using my gut instinct, I didn't ask, I just said,"Riley, you picked up this cigarette, brought it home and pretended to smoke it." He just hung his head. All I could do was shake my head.
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We knew we were in for the long haul, I just forget every now and then how heavy the haul is :)
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Please pray for our little boy to make good choices and wisdom for me to know how to best help him through life.
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