Adoption

I wasn't going to post this but decided it might give a little clearer view of adoption than the wonderful view that most people seem to have. I should begin by saying that I love and respect the parents I grew up with and know that I'm where I'm supposed to be in life. *** According to me, there are three views of adoption. The first doesn't understand it at all, the second thinks it's great for everyone involved, and the third category is for the rest of us who know it's just plain complicated. I decided before I can tell my boys' story, I should probably tell mine. *** Short version..... I was adopted as an infant and lived with my adoptive parents and adopted sister until I went to college. I was and am well loved and cared for. I love them and they love me. End of story. *** Long version.... My biological mom was not quite 18 years old and already had a two year old son when she became pregnant with me. Per her request, I was given immediately after birth to Social Services. I spent the first four months of my life in a foster home before I was adopted. Life Issue #1: After hearing voices I recognized for months and being in a safe warm enviroment, I was born and thrust into the bright lights and hands of strangers. Life Issue #2: After four months of getting to know those strangers; their way of holding me, feeding me, talking to me, playing with me, I was thrust into the hands of new strangers. I had to start all over and apparently I wasn't so sure I wanted to because somewhere in my small body I knew that I just might get used to these people just to be thrust somewhere else again. I grew up not really wanting to trust people. Life Issue #3: Try to develop a healthy self-esteem when you're old enough to realize that if your own mom didn't want you, who would? My life history has made me particularly cautious in developing deep relationships. There are very few people that can hurt me simply because there are very few people I let get close enough to hurt me. On a positive note, It's also enabled me to develop some awesomely close friendships with a few really trustworthy people. ***** I don't post this to discourage adoption. I'm a very firm proponent of adoption. I just think that sometimes people idealize it without realizing the full impact. It's something I think about nearly everyday as I parent my boys.