Random Thoughts for the Day

I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
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Earlier today I passed a street sign that said "Dip". Instead of putting in the time and money into the "Dip" sign, how about filling in the dip?? Just a thought. If the bridge went out, would they just put up a sign that said, "River"?
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It stinks when I decide something's not too hot for me to bring it across the room without an oven mitt, and finding out halfway there that I was wrong.

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It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back. It bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that.
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Sometimes when I'm on the phone with someone, I like to scream "WAIT DON'T HANG UP!!!" right as they're hanging up... then not answer when they call back.
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How come we live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors & furniture polish is made from real lemons?
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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
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I'm surviving this massive amount of "family time" by pretending they are mental patients and I'm their case manager.
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Here's your social security card. It's paper & has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck! ~The Government
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I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes...
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There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, "Don't eat me." Now there's an empty plate and a note, "Don't tell me what to do."
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