Suspense Ended

I really didn't mean to keep up the suspense from yesterday's blog entry for so long. My life gets a little busy sometimes and Steve was working at the Swiftel Center for the Blake Shelton concert last night.
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So here's the short version of the interesting development:
I discovered, quite by accident, that I have a brother living in Brookings. I'm not going to tell you his name just in case anyone would run into him and I'm not sure yet how this is going to play out.

Here's the long version:
Just for the record, I don't usually refer to all the parents and siblings in my life as (bio) & (adopted). I'm just adding that to clarify who's who. Sometimes I feel like my life is four different soap-operas and I'm not sure which channel I belong on.

I was put up for adoption at birth in 1974. I was in a foster home for 4 months and then my (adopted) parents, Larry & Connie picked me up in Rapid City and took me home. I always knew that I was adopted but I knew very little about my biological parents, and not all of it was accurate.

In the state of South Dakota, an adopted child & the biological parents can request information from Social Services when the child turns 18, if they both request it. If only one requests the information, the paperwork gets filed until the other one sends in a request. Ironically, I found out later from my older (bio) brother Jody that the state refused to release any information to him because he was "only a sibling". Sad.

I waited until I was 20 and then my mom, Connie, helped me fill out the paperwork to request information. Because my bio mom, Letoy, had already filled out paperwork, I received a reply in the mail from the State almost immediately. It was very brief and listed Letoy as my birth mother and also gave me her current address and a phone number. They sent her identical paperwork about me. There was no other information listed even though we had filled out pages of information.

I held on to the information for quite awhile since I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I also had no idea if her family had any knowledge of me. Eventually, my (bio) brother Jody found the paperwork at their house and tried calling me. When we finally connected by phone, it was incredible to talk to him. I think I talked about that in another post. Anyway, we agreed to meet in the Twin Cities.

I took my (adopted) mom & dad and (future husband) Steve along. My (bio) brother Jody came to the house we were staying and we talked. Then he took Steve & I to Mall of America and we hung out for a few hours. Let me tell you, after never having a brother, it was an awesome feeling to have my big brother buying me pizza! Even though I was really sick to my stomach, it is still one of my favorite memories.

Later in the day, he took me back to his house to meet his (and my) mom. It was very surreal. Maybe more about that later but I really don't remember much except I was really nervous and we had lots of the same books on our bookshelves.

The gist of that story is that I maintained contact with my maternal bio family, including my mom Letoy, my brother Jody and my brother Jeremy. Steve and I would travel up to the Cities as much as we could to see them. I didn't ask a lot of questions about my bio dad. I was curious but I alway figured it might be a sore spot to talk about. Plus, my (bio) mom's husband was very against my (bio) dad and always told me that he had just left my (bio) mom high-and-dry and told me it would make her feel bad. I figured I better not discuss it. So we just never really talked about it. My (bio) mom did pull out yearbook pictures one time so I could see what he looked like. It was kind of interesting. I learned that he liked boxing and basketball and was actually kind of cute - for a guy in the 70's :)

To make a long story even longer, I continued my relationship with my (bio) mom Letoy and at one point 15-17 years ago, took a trip with her back to Rapid City, the place of my birth and her hometown. While we were staying at her dad's house, my (bio) dad came by to see me. It was just my (bio) mom, my (bio) dad and me sitting around my (bio) grandpa's kitchen table. It was very emotional and enlightening. I discovered he really did care about me. He told me about his family and showed me pictures but his three kids were pretty little and didn't know anything about me. That was the last time I saw him.

Through the miracle of facebook and mutual aquaintances of mutual aquaintances, I saw a last name I recognized. I was pretty sure it must me some kind of cousin so I looked on their page and discovered another person with the same last name, but this time it was someone living in Brookings. I requested to be his friend (how ironic is that) and then I messaged him to find out if he was from Rapid City. He agreed to be my friend and asked if he knew me. I wanted to make sure he really was who I thought he was so I responded back that I lived in Brookings but was born in Rapid. Then I named his parents and asked if he was their son. He said he was and asked if I knew them. I told him that I had only met his dad once.

I thought long and hard about whether or not to tell this young man who I really was. I know how much turmoil is in my life and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else intentionally. I had no idea if his dad (my bio dad) had discussed any of this with him in the previous years or not. I finally decided that if his dad (my bio dad) had let him go off to college in the same town that I lived in and had not given him a heads-up that he might run into me, then he probably should have.

I messaged my (paternal bio) brother back and told him briefly, "I don't know how much, if anything, your dad has told you about me and I don't intend to rock your world if he hasn't said anything. I only met him in person once. I was born in 1974 before he and your mom were together. I was put up for adoption when I was born.          is my biological dad so I guess that makes you my half-brother. I didn't realize we were both in Brookings now.
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For now, we remain Facebook friends and I'm content with that. I have not messaged him again nor has he messaged me. Poor kid probably has a lot to think about now that I turned his world upside-down. I will leave him alone unless he communicates with me that he wants to know more.
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